Month: July 2005

Ya know, I’ve been reading the blogosphere for various reviews on “Over There”. I’ve seen a good bit of negative and a lot of wishful thinking about the writers of “Blackhawk Down” and “Band of Brothers”. First off, the writers of both of those had a real story to base the screenplays on, “Over There” only has real situations to base it on, not a full-blown story. The characters in “Over There” do not exist, the characters of the other two, did, even if the names were changed. You want historical drama, watch the history channel, FX is drama only.

Now, I liked “Band of Brothers”, I hated “Blackhawk Down”. In fact, if we want to get into the politics of screenworks, “Blackhawk Down” made me hate the Clinton administration more than anything Clinton could have done otherwise. That situation proved to me that a person with no military experience, should not be directing the military, nor should he have any “yes” men to advise him. There is no way that I will ever, voluntarily, watch that movie again. In fact, I wish I had the time and the money spent to go see it back, so I could do something useful.

With “Over There”, it’s drama for me. I was on the edge of my seat as the transport truck slowly rolled over the IED, I was laughing my ass off as the .50 cal exploded into the insurgent, tore off his torso as his legs continued to walk forward. I wanted to bitchslap the token dumbass chick as she screamed at her unitmate for helping her dig a sleeping hole, and wished for a bullet to her head when she took off to take a piss. I sympathized with the guy who’s wife was banging someone else, because he was getting deployed as means to punish her – I know guys who went through that argument with their wives, heaven help those women should I ever meet them. I gave respect to the mother who explained to her infant son how she was going to be gone for a year because “Mommy has a job to do”. I also wanted to high five the MP who threw the insurgent leader into the transport veh., who told the Reporter from AJ to fuck off, and why.

Do I think situations like that happen? Who knows, not over there, and thanks to the fuck-up called the MSM, my boys who are infantry couldn’t tell me if they did. Do I think that situation was put in the pilot for a reason? Hell yeah! You get introduced to the characters, you get both sides of the coin nailed, and you see that there isn’t really any black or white to the situation, just a fuckton of gray. Honestly, I don’t think either side of the political coin is going to get what they want out of this show. In fact, the hatred for this show might be the only thing the left and right have in common right now.

I’m not sure on the blunt comment, I don’t ever recall smoking a joint that I could exhale out my mouth and then inhale through my nose. Though, the ash looked about right, as did the coughing. My guess is that the actor is a smoker and they “fixed” up a cig to look like a blunt and he forgot.

Oh, and the women were the transport personnel, not the guys. Watching it right now, and caught that part.

Addition: In regards to “Dim”, he didn’t give himself his nick for the reason of being stupid. He got it in basic, probably given as just a breakdown comment (probably in the same manner I got the nick Psycho in the gym).

Another: The M-16 is ejecting out the right side, not the left as commented on BlackFive’s blog. Someone needs to watch closely, or record and hit pause (TiVo is wonderful).

Scorpio for this week (late, I know):

Pioneer cartoonist Walt Disney had no doubts about what inspired his greatest ardor. “I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I’ve ever known,” he said. My sculptor friend Rachel has a similar relationship with her art. “I don’t have time for boyfriends,” she told me. “Men just distract me from my work, which is the only thing that gives me unconditional joy.” I suggest that in the coming weeks you make Walt and Rachel your role models, Scorpio. What form of creative self-expression inspires as much of your passion as your drive for romantic intimacy? Feed it with the same fervor you summon when you’re infatuated with a new lover.

My problem is that my passions are currently occupied. In talking with my Zoomie last night, we both agreed that we’re too passionate about things. It is the fire that pushes us ahead and keeps us moving. The problem arises when that passion is translated into emotions, as we pursue and feel what we do with passion. I know it has been my downfall, and the reasoning behind my problems with letting go of things. It has been the source of my frustration, the source of my pain and the source of my cynicism/misanthrope-ism. My dad used to call my naive because of it, failing to see reality for the veil over my eyes. Maybe, but I also think this same problem is what made my gram into the sour old woman that she became when I was born. We are captive to our passions, and when we fail in sustaining them, or utilizing them to the greatest of our ability, we see that as absolute failure. A failure of our own making that we should have been able to make into a success.

A thousand years from today, everyone you know will be long dead and forgotten. There’ll be nothing left of the life you love, no evidence that you ever walked this planet. That, at least, is what the fundamentalist materialists would have you believe. But suppose the truth is very different? What if in fact every little thing you do subtly alters the course of world history? What if your day-to-day decisions will actually help determine how the human species navigates its way through the epic turning point we’re living through? And finally, what if you will be alive in a thousand years, reincarnated into a fresh body and in possession of the memories of the person you were back in this era? These are my hypotheses. These are my prophecies. Which is why I say: Live as if your soul is eternal

This will make an interesting meditation topic.

FreeWill Astrology

Some secret parts of me hate that I can feel anything. It’s easier to feel cold and empty, and accept that, than to feel warm and ful-filled. When you’re cold and empty, you can’t lose anything else, when you’re warm and ful-filled, you can be drained. Sometimes, I just want to curl up and lock the world away, shut everyone out and hang up the “closed” sign. Cut all ties, and let the ribbons fall as they may. Sometimes, it’s just because it’s the easier route. Sometimes, it’s because I’m not strong enough to understand what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it. It is difficult, and I don’t know if I’m going to make it though this.

Edit: I think I might actually puke over this. Least I got some good tears out.

I found a new show I like….”Over There” on fox. Though, guess that was a given. At first I was hesitant about watching it, but it’s turning out to be pretty good.

So here’s what I have on slate for tomorrow:

up and out of bed by 9ish
gather outing stuff
stuff the Cat Box o’Doom
take care of early morning work duties
run to bank for deposit
leave by 11A
Call Whipping Boy to let him know I’ll be in his area
Enjoy myself
Write in my pillow book
Explore the area
Meditate in a spot that’s comfy
Record sensations during meditation
Soak in a cold stream

I’d say that’s a good start, as much as I wish to take the scenic route again, it’s faster by hwy and I stay in cell range longer.

I was all up to head out of town today, and then I woke up at 10A. Oh well, haven’t heard from the Whipping boy, so I’ll have contemplative time tomorrow, such is the life of the busy schedules. Had another incident with the hotel, the only good thing is that we followed protocol and the hotel staff didn’t, woot! I’m getting really annoyed with a few of my employees, seriously, how difficult is it to follow protocol that was verbally conveyed, as well as written out? BAH! Anyway, yeah. That’s it. Nothing else at this point.

I’m tired, worn out from the crap that’s been going on, and it’s only Tuesday. The really sad part, is my weekend was as close to a vacation as I could have gotten and it was nothing but absolute bliss. My goal is to track down the Whipping boy for a trip to the mountains tomorrow, or at least an escape to a coffeehaus in another city/state. I don’t know what’s going on, still having a slight disconnect from my Zoomie, which I’m slowly tracking down to his popularity and my desire to shun limelight. Yes, I talk about a bunch of personal stuff here, laying it all out and taking judgement as it comes, but really – I hate crowds, I hate lots of people, and I hate “adoring” fans who are so sickly sweet they’d melt if you added water. I know this is a contradiction in terms, especially in regards to my latest pursuits. I’m shoving myself into the limelight so that people can fawn all over my image, desire me, and shower me with all the attention in the world. If they do, power to them, otherwise, a simple “Wow, that’s hot. So what motivates you?” would rock my world. I like things to be in-depth, the people I will end up friends with are ones that will actually sit down and talk with me. Maybe that’s what I’m missing right now, meaningful chatter. Maybe that’s where the disconnect truly is, he’s slaving away at new-found success – which is great, and I’m happy for him. Means more growth to who he is, and I walk along the sidelines doing my own thing, waiting for a break.

Anyway, with things slowing down, a bit, I’m hoping to get some new entries into my pillow book. I have 3 in my head and I need to write them before I forget them. Might have to make notes to trigger the memories in the meantime.

Ya know, summer is not the time to look inward, that’s what winter is for, so why am I facing the wrong direction?

Fun things in the headlines…

Farrell gets restraining order
The tape is 15 minutes long, I wonder how much of this is motivated by desire to not let his adoring fans know how fast he can shoot, or just how bad of a shot he really is…

Family upset over shooting
Are they upset that they raised an idiot? Seriously, who goes out in the middle of summer, in a city that’s under a high security alert in a heavy winter jacket, gets into a fight with police (who have high powered weapons), runs away, and expects to not be treated with suspicion? No sympathy on my end, I think even the freaks of the world can agree, when you’re in that kind of environment, don’t do anything stupid. And if you’re going to look and act suspicious, don’t run from cops with guns, sit and chat with them and answer their questions, then be on your merry way. Oh yeah, and let’s think about this one…guy who possibly has a concealed bomb – do you shoot him in the torso and run the risk of detonating the bomb, do you shoot him in the leg and give him the chance to detonate the bomb, or do you aim for the head and not give him that chance as well as not running the risk of detonating the bomb by bullet?

Let’s also keep in mind that this guy jumped a turnstile and ran into the Tube, at what point does one wish to ask questions?

AFL-CIO threatens to focus on real issues
Wow, some of them finally decide to quit being a political body and start focusing back on worker’s rights. There must be a god, and he must have a massively big stick. Seriously, I understand the need for unions, to a certain extent, but once they try to play politics they cease being useful.

Guns are evil and a ban will reduce crime *coughbullshitcough*
When will our homegrown anti-gun nuts really look at the statistics in countries where private ownership of guns is illegal and really reflect on how well this policy works (note: look up crime statistics for Kennesaw, GA if you have any questions on how well gun ownership can work).

I have a freshly shorn head now. Well, at least half of one. Thought you should all know that.

In other news, I feel a bit better. Trying to decide which day I’m going to drag my ass to the mountains, as my workload has increased (yay!) which means more time needed to be communicative. But I shall have to let everyone know, as the spot I go to has no cellular signal whatsoever. I really need to recharge, and I have movie day with WT this week!!!! Can’t wait, he’s got lots of blood on the menu, so it should be good. Mraowr.

I’ve been on a nice little roller coaster here, today was test in how fast and deep of a drop I could have. I feel completely and utterly empty inside right now. Tempted to flog myself into a pile of tears, least that’s what I’ve been feeling like doing for the last 4 hours. But I was pleasantly surprised to get this email in my box