growth

Word of the month = STRESS!

Closing was supposed to be Friday past, but it’s been changed to this week, whenever we finish the loan paperwork. *le sigh* One of my external contracts has paid up and is current, still waiting on the other two (one just likes to wait till the invoice due date, the other is LATE). I’m tired of house stuff shopping, in fact, I’m exhausted by it. I’m down to emailing Lord Govannan and see if he can make some end tables for me, because I don’t want Target or Ikea standard, and I don’t feel like paying $200 for one end table that’s not custom made. I sucked up my sore feet and went to the floor store, I’m liking the bamboo flooring, but need to talk with my training partner about that stuff. Then it’s going to be down to the colouring and the finishing to avoid Elan messes staining things. I’m coming to grips with the fact that the immediate renovations I want are going to have to be put on hold, and the fact that my emergency account will be non-existent till I can re-save money to put back into it, as what’s left in it is going to AMEX (fuck you Chase, and your little dog, too). But, this will give me a $200/mth leeway after all is said and done, so savings, no problem, contracts not paying up on time, no problem.

Anyway, tonight is Judo class #2. I like the way it’s working out my body, and I don’t have to worry about getting nailed across the face. It’s actually doing more for my hip movement than kickboxing did, even though I need to get back to that for the flexibility aspect. I can’t wait for vacation….

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Some Scorpios bring out the worst in people. Other Scorpios draw out the best. Then there are those members of your tribe who sometimes bring out the worst in their fellow humans and other times bring out the best. Where do you fit in this spectrum? Regardless of your position up until now, I’m betting that in the coming months you’ll be moving in the direction of bringing out more of the best. And it all begins now. To get the process underway, think of five people you care about, and visualize the wonderful futures that it might be possible for them to create for themselves.

FreeWill Astrology

Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!! Right now, I’m willing to say I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m too fucking stressed to care about the best/worst in others. In fact, I have a few choice words for a few to help them in deciding which direction I’m going with them. Normally, I’m willing to say I bring out the best, because I do encourage people to make changes they think are needed, or give them the cheer to keep them going.

With that in mind, Chase bank can kiss my shiny white German-Irish ass. They have no concept of communication, and I’ve been going through this process for over 2 weeks now, and the other night – yes night – they FINALLY update me, saying they either need more gift money or I need to file my taxes. Yep, file my taxes, give up the $6k-ish credit for buying said house, and kiss the expansion of my business good-bye. I said no. I told them I was willing to get paperwork to them from my Accountant to show what was being filed for 2009, but I would not authorize the filing until the purchase is over. Nor would I give them $20k as a down payment on a $67,500 (edit: just got an email, $18k down payment, they didn’t ask for paperwork from my accountant). So, I’m stressing, big time. The nice thing, is that I’ve restarted the process with another bank, they’re talking with my accountant, they’re communicating with me on a daily basis and not giving me half stories. But still, I’m having panic attacks. Too much crap going on and too much room for shit to hit the fan. I need a vacation, but I can’t leave because I close on the 12th, then I have to do the renovations. The good thing, is my parents are coming to help me move and renovate, my designer kicks ass and is going over my ideas and pricing them out for me. The Italian Stallion is going to check out my HVAC and see if it can be fixed or how much it will be to be replaced. As soon as things are done, going to drag psychosu to Home Depot, whether she likes it or not, to pick out paint and vent back and forth on various crap we’re dealing with, and get JudoFredy to take a look at the floors and see what we can do, and go shopping for those. *sigh* I need to break someone.

Not sure if I’ll bother with a year summation, since I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. 🙂 Spare the details….AGAIN! But I do have to say, it’s been nice to go out to social events, lately, and find out I’ve been missed, as much as I’ve been missing everyone else. I was hesitant on the thought that I would be the one who needed to walk away, as splits always end up a bit on the awkward side (so my apologies if I come off as snippy at times to some questions).

That said…I have the Pastry here, snuggles, crepes and coffee in the AM, being lazy with movies and music when I’m not working. Going for walks, dinner with friends, has been wonderful. If tomorrow’s sun holds, we’ll be going to the Botanical Gardens to look around. This weekend we head to Florida to hang out with my parents (we’ll be in the Palm Beach area and have Sunday open for hanging out with friends). Next week is the da Vinci exhibit and the NYE party. It’s been awesome, I don’t feel like my life is being intruded upon or I’m being pushed in one direction or the other (outside of running late here and there). Things just flow and mesh quite well, I honestly don’t think I could be any happier as I am in this moment.

One word to describe the end of this year – Parfait. :)~

Today, I’m going to wax poetic with de Vinci. It will be my first trip to the High since I’ve moved here (yeah, 10 years and I’m finally visiting the worthwhile tourist stuff). It’s my present to myself, since I didn’t go anywhere this year. I’m determined, next time I go to France, to visit Chateau du Clos Luce and see the de Vinci exhibits there.

I’m feeling reflective today, sorting through more issues to figure out how to move forward, reconcile myself to some sort of acceptance of this past year. The highs have definitely been awesome and I welcome that the winds have been kind enough to push me in the directions and I was able to recognize and submit to those. I can’t even begin to describe the level of happiness that those changes have brought me. But the lows that preceded were horrible.

Summation of age 31

This weekend was a social whirlwind for me. Saturday night was psychosu‘s ‘new jobbitty party’. Had a blast with that, and tossed my idea to buy my friend’s condo by her. So far, she likes the idea and it gives her time to get her stuff in order. Bonus. Then came home and put my bed together and passing out on it at around 1.30AM. Woke up to Pastry im’ing me, apparently I forgot to turn off my im’s. Was a good thing, because I needed to wake up, but totally missed the wake-up call. Cleaned up the house, reorganized everything, made chili. The chili was good, but I think I didn’t add enough chili powder. The purple onion and lamb was awesome in it, so I’m really glad I made that choice. Got dressed up all schmancy-like, being stress-free is really nice for wanting to dress up. The downside is that I am definitely out of practice for corset wearing. Then off to moonbird‘s picnic at Oakland Cemetary. It was wonderful to play catch up with some folks that I haven’t seen in a while, and organize a yummy dinner with a friend for later. w00t!! Snuck off around 4ish to finish the house cleaning and start relaxing.

Outside of that, I’m definitely still working through some residuals. Kept my distance from various folks for reasons of odds and ends. Had hoped teh Su could have made it, would have helped that ‘awkward’ feeling a little bit, but hey, I had nancy624. 😀 I really wish Pastry could have been there, he would have had fun, and enjoyed the scenery. I think he’ll get along great with everyone too, can’t wait till New Year’s to introduce him to everyone. Gonna be so much fun.

First, my thoughts out to everyone at Ft Hood, and I’m glad to hear that J&J are safe. I have my thoughts on the whole situation, based on what I know from various sources, at this point in time….but I won’t go into them until more info is released.

Now….

Apparently, with the descent into winter I’m starting to wax poetic again. I’m half feeling the desire to finally visit Helen, GA to walk around the old town under the Autumn colours. Lots of thoughts spinning through my head, oddly at peace, but comfortably. The trip last weekend, as wet as it was, was very enjoyable. I actually was able to spend some time with the Fomorian (not you A 😉 ), and was surprised at the length of time I’ve known him, in that I haven’t actually known him. I look forward to getting another conversation of the same with him and the rest of my family. I’m in a settling mode, even contemplating a condo, but restraining because of the business. There’s a chance I might be moving into a friend’s, to help her out, looking at my options and we’re keeping the communication lines open for that. Guess that would be a ‘training run’.

I’m also feeling the travel bug, again. I love Fall, the idea of walking around Central/Southern Europe just stokes a few fires. Not sure where I want to go, but definitely want to head out again. But yeah, that’s gonna be on the back burner. Maybe I could get away with a weekend in Montreal, have been wanting to go back there for a while.

Need to write more poetry, Sunday should be good for that. Tuesday, I have evening work, so I’m probably going to hit up the High in the late morning/early afternoon before I have to be at my office.

I guess I should do some kind of update, of sorts. At the base of it all, life is doing pretty good. As always, near Samhain, endings and beginnings occur, work really kicks in and all that fun jazz. I’m hoping this winter the muse hits me up again, time to start getting back to the regular meditation habit and yoga habit. I might have to suck it up and make sure I get to Suri’s classes on Mondays (if she’s still hosting them). I’m still holding back on a good amount of things, half because they aren’t for public topic of discussion, and the other because it’s just not really worth discussing (how’s that for cryptic?).

On the flip-side, tonight I really crack down on the business stuffs. I need to write out a full CV along with the whole story behind SMB Integration and where it’s going. That whole process was side-tracked by some stupid shit and some more serious shit.

cut for your reading sanity

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

During the dialog about health care in the U.S., certain highly relevant facts are never discussed. For example, it’s ludicrous for right-wingers to fear that a government-run health system would freshly infect our capitalist system with the stain of socialism. The truth is, America has long had the biggest socialist enterprise in the world: its sprawling military establishment, which is completely paid for by taxpayer dollars and run by the government! (For more discussion of America’s long-running, thoroughgoing socialist tradition, go here.) Another unacknowledged fact in the dialog about health care is this: The single smartest strategy for financing a new system (as well as dramatically improving the economy) would be to reduce military expenditures. Americans don’t seem to realize that their monstrously huge military empire is a case of supreme overkill: It girdles the globe in ways that are unprecedented in the history of civilization. We have 761 military sites in over 100 countries! “If you want to talk about suns never setting on empires, the Brits had nothing compared to this,” defense analyst John Pike told the L. A. Times. I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, to illustrate the way that a seemingly serious discussion can be thrown off course and rendered unproductive when it ignores critical information. Please make sure nothing like that happens in your personal sphere in the coming weeks.

Um, ok. Kinda prefer to leave politics out of my horrorscope readings….which left me with a foul after-taste, but I’ll stick to the heart of what was to be said and not the example used to illustrate the meaning.

I’m still writing the PPUSA review, still writing the follow-up for next year, working on business stuffs (which takes priority) and currently feeling empty. My house is too quiet, even with the BBC playing in the background. The last 2 weeks were amazing, even with their moments of helplessness and the rains. 3 more months, plans for the future…now to just enact them and move forward. I like that feeling, there are plans, there are goals. No stagnation.

And we’re on for the normal Friday afternoon cafe date. All is good, love it. Tomorrow starts hell week for me. Slammed day tomorrow, complete with morning bank run, guess I should see if they’re open at 9AM, if not, fast run tomorrow at lunch. Sunday I might have a client, then it’s off to psychosu‘s for cleaning, bison and good music (let’s do dinner before we go, that way we can skimp and buy and appetizer and dessert). House is looking good, new couch fund is creeping up slowly, just over the half-way point now. ProgPower is creeping up on me, but slated to be a good weekend. Leave for France next Saturday, totally psyched for that, get to see unruherevan‘s parents again and see how his mum is progressing on her English. Going camping while there, provided there is no rain. Lots of happy thoughts and things to look forward to, otherwise. All will be revealed later.

After that, weekend with the parentals, the ProgPower, then another camping trip. Then I move the company and do the grand opening and full-fledged ad campaign. Then, camping again. Have I mentioned this year has been overly positive, despite the deep negatives? I guess I got a good shrug and left a lot of the negative behind. Yes things are still shitty, but I have a positive outlook about it, and refuse to lose that.