Every season shift I do a stave draw, asking what the season will bring. In this case, the ‘season’ will last from the spring equinox to the winter equinox. But the stave I drew was èabhadh, which hints at rising up, bouyancy and healing.
I find it well timed, as nature – where I live is starting to lift out of the ground and come alive. The trees, where they were pruned in their dormant state will start the process of sealing the wounds. So I’m taking my cues and starting in on myself, again.
This last year has been recovering from years of hustling and trying to make ends meet. At the onset, the loss of income sent me into a depression. But that soon gave way to a peace, that I would be ok. And I have been. It gave me the opportunity to finally get my stress levels under control, learn some new skills, and work on my transition in my career track.
It’s also given me the opportunity to look at all the things that have been holding me back. I was able to take a hard look at what was an anchor dragging me backwards and what was pulling me forwards. Many of my clients fell off, and whether or not they will return post-vaccine is yet to be determined. But regardless, I will need to hold to my decision to let space go.
I’ve found, that when I make a decision that is truly for my benefit, either things move faster or they just naturally work. That was what happened with my decision to consolidate my space and let go of half of it. In my decision to fully let go of the space, I’ve been shown spaces that are open in supportive complimentary businesses and the other half of my business (coaching) has seen an uptick in client work and responsibility.
It’s also allowed me to get back to the spiritual realm of things. In the Irish Book of Invasions, the cultures that were of benefit to the land lasted longer than those whose goals weren’t of mutual benefit. And in that vein, I’m doing what I can for the land that I inhabit. Building steppes to keep the trees from eroding, controlled burns to build up the nitrogen in the clay and create soil. Leaving the leaves down so the butterflies and fireflies have ground cover to hibernate and hatch. Creating small pools for the dragonflies and pollen patches for the bees, hummingbirds, and other nectar drinking beings.
These are small steps for me, but in the long run it’ll get me back to me. Society has done a wonderful job of pulling me away from that person, and my struggle to get back to her has been exactly that. My hope, is that more people have realized how they’ve been changed from their core, and have had the opportunity of space to rediscover that person and emerge again.