Month: August 2006

In speaking of horoscopes…

I check the one on myspace. How good is this for recent days:

You can feel the steady pressure from the storms of change as the Moon moves through your 7th House of Relationships. But this isn’t simply about a petty disagreement. Instead, you are aware of deeply rooted issues that may have stirred up your resentment. If some aspects of your life are out of control, decide now what needs to be relinquished and what is worth keeping.

Scorpio for this week:

Sculptor Luis Jimenez was renowned for making large pieces with political themes that incited controversy. In “The Barfly,” created during the Vietnam War, he depicted the Statue of Liberty as a drunken floozy. “Vaquero” shows a Mexican cowboy riding a bucking stallion and waving a gun. It not only satirizes the pretentious statues of military leaders on horses that are often found in parks; it’s also a reminder that the original cowboys of the American West were Mexicans. “It’s not my job to censor myself,” Jimenez said. “An artist’s job is to constantly test the boundaries.” Whether or not you’re an artist yourself, Scorpio, your next assignment is aligned with Jimenez’s approach: Don’t censor yourself as you test the boundaries.

FreeWill Astrology

Heh, boundaries eh? That seems to be the topic du Jour with me. Of course, there goes the polite way to explain boundaries. 😡 Just kidding. I promise I’ll be nice.

Ok, I just have to comment on this stuff. This is my myspace horoscope for today:
Although you might seek romantic involvement, your need for self-determination is quite strong now. You cannot let others steer your car, even if you want them to drive it. No matter what kind of logic you apply to your current dilemma, you still may not be able to figure out the best course of action because of your internal conflict over the situation. Go ahead and do what feels right, but don’t focus on the long-term goals just yet.
I find it highly interesting, especially when coupled with what my Tarot card is:
Temperance – May you find transformation. Deck: Old English.

Normally, this stuff really is just a distraction, or some potential advice to be filed away for use at some later date when it actually is applicable. But given the recent headspace I’ve been in, this one actually came as a surprise in being fairly dead on for the current times. I know what feels right, right now, and I’m definitely following it, because I feel more growth will come to me as an individual for doing so. And that is the basis of my choices in pursuing my life. I want to grow, I want to see where my potential can take me and see what I can reach with it. I’ve been fairly stagnant for the last 4 years or so, but have been lucky enough in the recent years to come into contact with people who stoke my inner fires and remind me of what I originally wanted to do with my life. In this last year, I’ve had the benefit of the Morrigan stepping in and throwing stuff at me to get me to go in the direction I need to go. I have been extremely greatful to her for that. She’s made sure that the people who need to be in my life have entered, and I’m greatful that I was able to be conscious enough to recognize them and bring them in. This upcoming stage is going to be a slightly difficult one, but I’m proud to say that it will be weathered and things will be the best as a result. But in conjunction with the Tarot card, the transformation that I’ve been going through in this last year, is obviously not over. I have transitioned to where I need to be to complete the process. I guess that might be why I absolutely fell in love with Jean Grey’s character in X-men 2. It’s about being able to destruct, and rebuild with what needs to be there, vs what is wanted.

Friday was pretty good. Started out discussing my resentment issues with my therapist, was kinda funny because, as I sat there describing everything I’m feeling right now, he started laughing at me. Apparently, the things that were triggering everything, and the manner I was describing them, signified high synapse firings in the side of my brain that is male oriented. But, he did have some good suggestions. First thing I’ll be doing, is cataloging my boundaries. I’ll probably post them, as they’re seriously fucked up, and because of that, I’m pretty hardcore about them being breached. Would probably help out people who are trying to get to know me. I also need to work on my reactions to them being breached. Normally, I’ll just make note of it and move on, but I’ll hold a slight grudge. I need to stop holding those grudges, as they are the source of my resentment. But I guess that also leads back to resenting things within myself.

I know I’m starting to beat myself up, my friend R pointed that out last night when he pointed out that I really despise ring girls. I guess it’s mainly because I see the reactions they get, knowing they are the most vapid things on this planet (or they’re good actors) and have to sit back and accept that regardless how hot guys tell me I am, the ones I mesh with are always going to just see me as one of the boys. As Sunshine said, guys dream of the hot girl like me, but to actually be with me would kill the fantasy. That may not be true, but it does make things a bit easier to accept. Even though I dream about the guy that totally consumes me, search him out and then fall back into the depression of reality as I see him walk away.

Tagged by Ala

3 things that scare me:
1. Falling
2. The stupid masses
3. Ignorance

3 people that make me laugh:
1. Zoomie
2. My Bitch
3. My Evil Twin

3 things that I hate most:
1. Stupid people
2. Stupid people
3. Stupid people

3 things I don’t understand:
1. Fanaticism/Extremism
2. The Democratic Party
3. The Republican Party

3 things I am doing right now:
1. Typing
2. Chewing gum
3. Feeling better than I was earlier

3 things I want to do before I die:
1. Sky dive
2. Bungee jump
3. Free climb chimney rock

3 things I can do:
1. Choke someone out in 15 seconds.
2. Give a great massage
3. Love

3 ways to describe my personality:
1. Playful
2. Old Soul
3. Bitch

3 things I can’t do:
1. See green
2. Have sex with a pro-lifer (sorry Ala, had to)
3. Be nice to stupid people

3 things I think you should listen to:
1. Orphaned Land
2. Me
3. My invisible friend

3 things you should never listen to:
1. Political parties
2. Most of the MSM
3. Stupid people

3 absolute favorite foods:
1. Chicken strips
2. Veggie dumplings
3. Cheesecake

3 things I’d like to learn:
1. How to skydive
2. Thai Massage ritual
3. Harp

3 beverages I drink regularly:
1. Water
2. Coffee
3. Gatorade

3 shows I watched as a kid:
1. The Popples
2. PeeWee’s Playhouse (go fig.)
3. The Smurfs

3 people I am tagging:
Everyone!

I swear, I’m a drama magnet. But that’s a story for a later time. What is a story for right now, is that I’m finally giving my corp job the boot. As much as I hate the idea of leaving my clients at Homebanc and Scottish Rite, the drama surrounding my contract with my boss is overwhelming. It’s effecting my love of my job, which is first and foremost. I pay close attention to when I start to hate my job, especially this one, and when I start feeling that I know it’s time to step back. I’ll be going back full-time at my office, with the ability to bring in my own clients. I think it will be a better set-up for me, and an all-around better environment.

Paper updates: I began writing my paper on Magic and Work this weekend. I guess I wasn’t in the right headspace, as the words didn’t appear on the paper as they were originally in my head. But at least I have the ideas down, and when I do hit that headspace, I can easily re-organize. I’m hoping to set the stage sometime this next week, as due to a current fund priority, Thai Massage for this month will not occur – but I still have the days off from it.

With that said….cheers. Much Happiness to my friends who are finally reaching a still point that brings them some peace. May it be long enough for you to be ready to proceed to the next stage.

Scorpio for this week:

Physicists at Washington University in St. Louis have found that introducing disorder into certain messy situations may actually spawn order. It happened as they worked with a network of interconnected pendulums that were all waving around chaotically. When they brought random forces to bear on the tumult, the pendulums locked into sync. The physicists’ results may not necessarily imply a universal law you should invoke in every circumstance, but it does happen to be applicable to you right now. The more unpredictable, effervescent, and even unruly you are–especially in the face of confusing circumstances–the better chance you will have of generating elegant success, and maybe even some beauty, truth, and love as well.

Freewill Astrology

Heaven help everyone around me. 😀 I love being free to be me!

Alrighty everyone. Back from my tournament, won 3rd place. First fight ended in 45 to a guillotine tapout, second fight I lost to decision, but her only points came from being a blanket, and the third fight ended in 15 seconds to a guillotine tapout.

here are the pics