Month: June 2009

To my friends…

Know any sculptors that need exposure? The High is looking for sculptors to display/raffle small table-sized sculptures at their upcoming fundraiser. If you know anyone who is interested, please have them email me (link in profile) with their contact info and a few portfolio pictures or link to an online portfolio.


Having just gone through my yahoomail account….

Please adjust all your email account references for me to freakkitty@ mydomain, not the yahoo account. So, my apologies for any events I missed as a result of me not checking that box in forever (don’t feel left out, my dad still emails me there, for some reason).

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Congratulations, Scorpio. You’ve reached the end of the Big Squeeze. You’ve served your time in the bottleneck. And so I invite you to relax your pinched expression, loosen up your puckered expectations, and let the Season of Experiments begin. According to my projections, you will soon be receiving a host of invitations to wander into the frontier with your raw sense of wonder turned up all the way. Please research each invitation thoroughly before choosing. When you’ve decided which adventures are most likely to enhance your understanding of the art of liberation, dive in.

FreeWill Astrology

Woohooo!!!!! That said, yes, I have quite a few adventures lined up, main one dealing with stupid Delta raising their prices all of a sudden (hope they go down next week, again). In two weeks I am off to conquer the white waters of the Ocoee and as I mentioned that there are good bike trails up there, the stage manager is up there this weekend to check them out, and arrange for a biking trip for Friday or Sunday. Grrrrrrrrrr. Training yesterday was AWESOME!!!! Too bloody sore today, absolutely loving it.

I love BJJ, I am addicted to it, and every day that I am not in the gym a part of my just dies at the idea of not being there. Yeah, the obvious thing is to just show up, but that’s where the issue lies. I lack the passion. I don’t know if it’s from training burn-out, or drama burn-out. But the fact is, I’m not having fun when I drag my ass out of bed in the morning and consider whether or not I will leave for the gym.

The best times I’ve had, have been on the beach with my teammates, sparring with each other just to say we did it. One of my training partners attempting take-downs at the office I work in, or getting lost on the way to the other academy.

I could point fingers and make the claims of what I know is my real issue, but that would be pointless. Fact is, I find no joy at this gym, outside of the few training partners I have respect and appreciation for.

I had this same issue when I made the choice to retire from gymnastics, and this is a bit different. While I’m definitely going to take a hiatus from competitions for a while (despite my desire to compete at the European Nationals), I just need to find a place where I can rediscover the enjoyment of the sport, and it’s not with this family.

The last couple of years, for me, were draining, physically and emotionally. I’m in recovery mode, and in some ways I’m fully recovered, and in others I’m still healing.

Regardless, I’ll be contacting the instructors around my next few trips and seeing if I can fit their schedules to mine. That said, I wish I was in Denmark. The team there is awesome and I would love to spend more than one day training with them. I could easily regain my focus and maybe come back and rejoin the family. But as it stands…. *sigh* I miss my brothers. That is all I miss.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Evaluating Adam Lambert after one of his exotic, virtuoso performances back in April, American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi praised him as being “confusing, shocking, sleazy, and superb.” That’s a standard you could soon achieve in your own sphere, Scorpio. But do you want to? You’ll have to care less about maintaining your dignity than usual, and be especially forthright in expressing yourself. Let me leave no doubt about what I’m saying: To be as superb as you potentially can be, you’ll have to be at least a little confusing and shocking and maybe even sleazy.

FreeWill Astrology

Well, I figure that I have the first 2 down, but sleazy? Hrm, that will be a new stretch for me.

That said, the house is coming along, bills are being paid down, the carpet is finally drying (apparently, it didn’t fully dry after my last attempt at cleaning it. While I’m expecting a huge electric bill, it’s at least resulting in dry carpet). Montieth finished the tv cabinet, so that is in place, looking awesome and meaning that I can move my business file cabinet to my office, so one less piece of clutter. Yay!!

Oh yeah, overpaid the internet bill last month, screwed me a bit at the time, but at least that’s an extra $50 that I can put towards something else. I am taking the horrorscope from a few weeks ago seriously, been re-evaluating whether or not I should deposit my money into my money market account and moving money into the checking only when bills are due. Going to start doing that next month, since most of my bills are due on the 1st. That should force me to consider how much I use my tip money over paying with my bank card. 😀

Yesterday, I joined the ranks of the more technologically advanced. I got a G1 phone and now I’m trying to figure out how to set-up the email function for business mail. Not sure if the SMTP settings are not taking because of something I’m doing, or something dealing with the issues getting through my router. Service to it is supposed to start this afternoon, so we’ll see if that helps things a bit. I’m hoping, when I switch domain registrations that the issues will clear up. I’m really discovering how much I hate Last year was a joke in itself, this year has just built upon that.

Otherwise, things in my life are going really well. Spent Saturday with my friends and celebrating birthdays, yesterday was wonderful too, slept in this morning (on accident) but only have one shift of work to deal with, rest of the day is relaxing and enjoying life. Tomorrow is a busy day, Wednesday is kinda busy and the rest of the week is as normal.

I smile a lot, I’m relaxed, and low and behold, for a rare extended moment, I can honestly describe myself as truly happy. Things that should bother me don’t hang around long, just rolls off my back, I’m rarely in a hurry (unless I’m late to something like – work). I like where I am at, and I’m actually learning to trust more, not just myself, but other people.

I see lots of positive ahead, not all sunshine and cotton candy, but nothing that is totally derailing of anything. 🙂

So last night, I headed out to the sister gym in Villa Rica, with my training partner. Holy hell am I sore today! A is back in a happy place (which makes me happy) and I’m finding my desire to train again. It was good, learned a couple of new Gi chokes from C, helped one of their white belt females a bit and gave a helpful smack to one of their male heavy weights on the concept of using strength (he spent too much time trying to yank on my elbow for an armbar). It was a good talk, he was very apologetic and I explained to him he needs to focus on the grip break, not the yanking of the arm – especially with people who are holding onto their arm for dear life because they see it breaking if they let go. 😀

Anyway, it was a good night and catching up with my old training partner. Miss him, wish I could make it up there earlier to train with him.