Month: May 2009

Back at the cafe, for an extended lunch. The relaxation aspect of life is starting to kick back in, and I’m ending up more productive as a result. Yesterday I skipped training, opted to sleep in a little bit (even though I was ready to leave the house on time). Instead, chose to finally get the underwear through the wash and clean up around the house. Finally starting to tackle the dining room corner o’Doom, in prep to have the floor cleaners come in and finally de-scent it. I’ve cleaned my closets so there are no storage units under my bed. Next step is to clean out the drawers again, in prepping for the new bed and seeing if there’s a way to move the room around a bit – if that’s an option I want to pursue.

I’ve even started to dream again, that makes me very happy. This weekend is some friend-time, have dinner with the ET & co. tomorrow, then potluck with the goth crew. Sunday is undies shopping with teh Su and maybe dinner, we shall see.

Otherwise, just gonna relax for another 45 minutes before heading off to my client. Beautiful day. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

As I was driving out in the country, I spied a curious statement written in large crooked letters on a homemade sign: “I have seen the truth and it doesn’t make sense.” I’m guessing you might feel that way yourself right now, Scorpio. You have summoned the courage to see the deeper reality beneath the official story, but that has made you more confused than you were when you only possessed a smattering of iffy facts. So you’re smarter and better informed, but are nonetheless feeling less secure. My advice: Don’t flee back into the fake comfort of comfy delusions. If you can maintain your poise in the face of the raging ambiguity, you will ultimately be rewarded with a big dose of cathartic clarity.

FreeWill Astrology

Yeah, point right now is to not remain in the comfy confines, but to push forward to where I need, and want to be. The whole point of making the changes that I have, is to move forward, not be stagnant anymore.

Now, to bathe a cat. 😀

I need to reset my work boundaries, again, as I believe I have over-booked myself today. As much as I loved having the 3-day weekend, not having yesterday has made today a bit too hectic and I’m actually worried that I won’t make it everywhere I need to go, today, on-time and do the things I need to do. Thankfully, it means next week will be better spread out. At this point, I think I’m going to limit work to the doc’s office on Tuesdays, so I’m not driving there, driving to Buckhead, then driving back. Monday will be available for my office. This will not be cool for one of my clients, but I need to make sure that I don’t over-extend myself and find myself working all the time. Fastest means to burn out and hate my life. Not interested in doing that, again. Plus, I still need to get back into training mode, at least on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Then again, I need to find a desire to train, I’m feeling less than thrilled with the idea of going to Jiu Jitsu, lately. Lack of decent training partners is one of the biggest things, heeps of disrespect by the main instructor is the other. And knowing that this whole thing is disappointing my Professor makes me feel ill and weighs me down.

Good paychecks=more things paid off.
lazy work days.
Next major purchase is my bed w/mattress and a new futon mattress. Of course, this comes after I take care of the car stuff. 🙂

Happy happy happy.

I am secretly amused at the Pelosi circus and will laugh hysterically if an inquiry shows that she lied (but I think her deflections to the blame Bush mantra is already a hint at that, but we shall see).

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

It’s your choice, Scorpio. You could be a creative dynamo who changes the course of local history — or you could be a plain old boring sex maniac. What’ll it be? We here at the Free Will Astrology Libido Management Center encourage you to at least partially sublimate your unruly mojo into beautiful works of art, innovative business solutions, and brilliant strokes of collaboration. You don’t have to stop boinking altogether; just make it the second most important thing you rather than your raison d’etre.

FreeWill Astrology

Sex maniac, me? LMAO! That said, the Muse has been stroked quite nicely, so I’m expecting a flood of words here soon.

My fav poem

Im Nebel

Seltsam, im Nebel zu wandern!
Einsam ist jeder Busch und Stein,
Kein Baum sieht den anderen,
Jeder ist allein.

Voll von Freuden war mir die Welt,
Als noch mein Leben Licht war,
Nun, da der Nebel fällt,
Ist keiner mehr sichtbar.

Wahrlich, keiner ist weise,
Der nicht das Dunkle kennt,
Das unentrinnbar und leise.
Von allen ihn trennt.

Seltsam, im Nebel zu wandern!
Leben ist einsam sein.
Kein Mensch kennt den anderen,
Jeder ist allein

-Hermann Hesse

English version

Currently, I have a 2-hour break between now and my next client. The scheduling clusterfucks for the last couple of days are almost solved, and even what is left is not that bad. More weight has been shed and I’m feeling quite light, on the spirit-side of things. So now, I can just sit here at the Flying Biscuit and enjoy my lunch, watch the Blackhawk highlights from last night (go Hawks!!!!) and just enjoy what the future will bring me.

I’m looking forward to next week, as I get time with my sister, avelith. We’re going to the Nightwish/Volbeat concert on Thursday. I look forward to introducing her to my friends, we just need to figure out the logistics.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
BBC reported on the growing number of “spiritual tourists” who shop around in their search for inner peace. “We are entering a world,” said one expert, “where people aren’t interested in whether something is true or not, or whether they believe it or not, but whether it works.” That would be a good prescription for you in the coming months, Scorpio. I recommend that you reject any idea or theory or practice unless it has the practical value of making you feel more at home in the world and more accepting of yourself.

FreeWill Astrology

Imagine that, utilitarian spirituality. I kinda like that, as I prefer things that are useful over things that are not. That said, baggage is being dropped all over the place. You’d think I work at Hartsfield in the baggage handling dept the way it keeps falling.

I kinda like this, now to just resolve the residual anger and let friendships fall as they may. I’m done being the only one pursuing, want friendship, you know where to find me. Your turn.

I want to yell and scream at the top of my lungs, but all I can do is cry, out of anger, and beat down the internal walls that silence my voice.

And right now, there is nothing to soothe the savage beast.