I have arrived in Denmark. The French guy behind me was a pain in my ass, but two hot Parisians (one serving me coffee *drool*) made him less of a pain. I have gotten my ass kicked, and I’m ready for bed.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
What do you tend to do when you’re squeezed between the demands of authority and the healthy need to rebel? How do you respond when the past and future are at odds? What resources do you draw on when the person you have always been starts to evolve into an interesting new form that you don’t recognize? You’ve come to a fork in the road, Scorpio, when you will be asked to deal with these questions on a larger scale than before. My advice? Study your past so thoroughly that you’ll be able to keep it from repeating itself, and open your mind to possibilities you’ve rarely considered.
My biggest problem, when confronted with things that are at odds and chaotic, is to go with what is comfortable. I don’t adjust to drastic changes very well, and tend to react negatively to them. My means of accommodating this is to step back and take little steps. Not always useful, but it keeps me from going into crisis mode. As for the evolving, well, last evolution was to come back to center, from being a person I absolutely hated and couldn’t stand. If I’m evolving into a person who is greater than I was yesterday, then I move forward proudly and happily. It’s just a matter of analyzing the content of the person I have become. And if this truly is the fork in the road that I’ve been anticipating, it’s about damned fucking time!
It’s kinda funny that this whole thing comes up today, after spending the evening speaking with my Scotsman on the topic. Particularly in regards to the upcoming election and why some people are so put off by his manner of argument. Our society doesn’t want the actual facts, they want the perception of those facts. In the case of it being brought up this morning, it’s not the perception that something wrong was done, it’s the fact that something wrong was actually done. And everyone called it. So what is the solution? An offered perception of an apology, in the future. Which, of course, nullifies any meaning of sincerity in the future (of course, one could get away with it in our ADD society, as it will be forgotten – like the bailout bill will be, come election for the rest of the dumbasses that voted for it).
I bring this up here, because it’s a personal issue of mine, and I don’t want to muck up a discussion board with the subject. Fact is, it won’t be a sincere apology, and it will be, yet another, brick in the wall of feigned apologies going up around the person, because this person does not want to accept full resposibility for the consequences of his actions. This time, last year, I wrote out my list of people I had issues with, and people who were “on probation” with me. Well, year is almost up, and there’s a few days left. Some relationships are being torched, and this will be one of them. If I’m going to run in a circle, it’s going to be because I’m dancing, running on a track, or driving a speed course. It will not be, because someone wants to play a game with me. And that is all this is. From here on out, all interaction will be ignored, that includes all future postings, chatroom postings and public interactions (which, hopefully, won’t exist because of the last issue that pissed me off – and yes, it did piss me off, so congrats).
In the end, B, I no longer call you my friend, and I will not act as such, ever.
So, I guess it might be useful for me to post things from time to time, eh?
Anyway, sinus’ are finally caving in and clearing, which is nice. Goal is to be back in the gym on Monday, so I can get some decent training started, before getting my ass handed to me by vikings. Work is starting to even out, but as always, that is to be covered by a lock and key here. I’m starting to move into a happier place, emotionally. The only thing I need to work on now, is getting the damned knots in my shoulders and jaw to disappear. One of my clients asked me if I was going to get worked on, while in Denmark, and the idea has not escaped my brain. I’m really tempted to find a spa and see about spending my birthday there, or at least one day there. As for other body parts, my second knuckle on my ring and middle fingers are still frozen. I’ve been forcing it a good bit, but still not where they need to be. The positive, is that I can twist them side-to-side without issues.
The weather is cooling off, which means biking will be a lot easier. And with the schedule screw-ups at my secondary contract, that will put me in an even better position to ride over there. I haven’t decided if this is going to be a positive or not, but it seems my work week is going to be split up, with days off being Sunday and Thursday. This is a huge maybe, as I’m supposed to have dibs on Thursdays, with Mondays being roughly every other week (but only working 2-3 hours max). I don’t mind it, as I love the office, love the clients and I get paid really well.
Anyway, that is all for now.
PS- I followed the herd, I now have a facebook. *hangs head*
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
If you’re a left-winger, you may think right-wingers are stupid or evil or both. If you’re a right-winger, you probably hold the same attitudes about left-wingers. A similar pattern prevails between most other groups that hold opposing views. You’re a rare person if you’ve never looked at a certain group of people and thought to yourself, “They are all sick idiots.” But in the coming week, Scorpio, I’m asking you to find out what it’s like to dispense with judgments like that. In fact, try living without any scapegoats whatsoever. If even for an hour per day, visualize the possibility that those with whom you disagree might be sincere and well-meaning. I’m not suggesting this exercise merely because it’s a nice thing to do. It will also have the magical effect of giving you access to parts of your own intelligence that have been closed off to you.
Man, all of them???? Of course, he left out the folks like me, who are a bit outside of the left/right split and think they’re all stupid.
That said, I’m now 2 weeks out of training because I still can’t breathe. This sucks. I’m gonna go to class, because I’m tired of not being in the gym. I also need to create a check-list for what all I need to take care of, before I leave for Denmark. I just have to wait for this next paycheck, to pay for my car tags. Licensure I can take care of on Monday, since I’ll have all my CEUs done by then and will be able to verify, if I’m audited. Otherwise, today is a lazy day. One client tonight, thanks to therapists who don’t understand the concept of working FOR someone. *sigh*
I made it through the first hour of the debate, then the ADD kicked in, so I went to sleep. I’m seriously worried that I might actually be flown (or bused) across the border to Canadia when I come back from Denmark. I’m also curious if I can apply for asylum there. After the performance of those two, HOLY SHIT! WE’RE FUCKED! I should have paid attention to Murphy’s laws, when he stated that anything you think can’t get worse, will get worse. And boy is he right. In America, those that can’t lead, always do, and those that can, always sit in the back. *handforeheadstaplegun*
It’s the most simplest things in the world, that make you turn your head for a double-take. In a society that prides itself on complexity, and ultimately finds that the most complex things fall down the fastest. Thinking that they are strong, and will withstand whatever is thrown at them. But the smallest breeze crushes them down, and grinds them into dust. I love the simple things. I love the small conversations about nothing. A basic thought that can grow into many, and while they all relate, they are all completely separate. A simple touch, that can tell someone exactly how you feel. And in that, I found the joy again. The joy that makes me look through everything that is negative being thrown at me, and know that I will be ok, again.
Scorpio (October 21-November 23)
The bad news is that you are, metaphorically speaking, in jail. The good news is that a recent visitor sneaked you the key to the locked door of your cell. The weird news: You have not yet realized that you have the means to escape, since your visitor did not actually tell you that the key is hidden inside a certain thing he or she left behind. The great news is that I’m here to inform you about the situation. Once you locate the key, Scorpio, slip your hand between the iron bars so you can fit the key into the keyhole from the front. It won’t work from behind.
So that explains this ungodly sickness. Though, if it’s cosmic, I’m screwed, as I have too much crap to search through.
In other news, I’m feeling as if I have been left alone, of late. The same work issues are surfacing, but that is for a locked post and not for public consumption. I’m not sure if I’m feeling neglected, or somehow separated by a wall, which I just can’t get my head around. Or maybe this feeling is just the cattleprod to say, “You are not where you’re supposed to be, so get a move on!” Then again, it could just be my general frustration with quite a few things. My living situation has ceased to be my ideal. My neighbors are mostly jackasses, with their stupid ghetto mobiles that they drag race around here at 11PM. It seems my complex did not replace my carpet, which I have pulled up, right now. I am treating cat stains, only to find older stains and mold. Yay for half-assed carpet cleaning by my complex. The positive, is the smell is going away, it’s just taking forever for my carpets to dry, thanks to the moist weather.
Ok, got the shop vac out to dry the carpets. It helped a little bit, but holy fuck, I think my apartment smells worse, now. I don’t know what the fuck was spilled on my carpets prior to my cats adding to it, but it fucking stinks. I honestly think the prior folks had a dog, because this is not cat piss smelling up the place.
I get that you are trying to convince me to quit bending over and taking an ass-raping when I do things with my friends. But would you be so kind as to bless my friends with both the memory that they owe me money, and the good fortune for them to have enough to pay me back? I’m really getting sick of this crap, especially when I’m the one that makes the least amount of money out of all of them (and now have the highest amount of credit card debt).
Dear Presidential Candidates,
You both screwed the pooch in your debate. One of you I would never vote for, even under pain of death by a hot poker being rammed up my ass. The other, had potential because I believe in his ideals put forth a couple of weeks ago. But ideals do not the President make. And quite honestly, I’m not into being skull fucked, or anally raped. So pat yourselves on the back, I’m not voting for you.
Someone who believes in the ideals of our founding fathers.