Dear Universe,

I get that you are trying to convince me to quit bending over and taking an ass-raping when I do things with my friends. But would you be so kind as to bless my friends with both the memory that they owe me money, and the good fortune for them to have enough to pay me back? I’m really getting sick of this crap, especially when I’m the one that makes the least amount of money out of all of them (and now have the highest amount of credit card debt).

Thanks.

Dear Presidential Candidates,

You both screwed the pooch in your debate. One of you I would never vote for, even under pain of death by a hot poker being rammed up my ass. The other, had potential because I believe in his ideals put forth a couple of weeks ago. But ideals do not the President make. And quite honestly, I’m not into being skull fucked, or anally raped. So pat yourselves on the back, I’m not voting for you.

Sincerely,
Someone who believes in the ideals of our founding fathers.

5 comments

  1. I truly believe you need to speak with

    We are “opposing” in our politics, but we believe in a lot of the same things, like our CONSTITUTIONAL Rights.

    He and you think a lot alike, though. If ever speak with him, mention that I sent you.

    Like

  2. Well, there’s always Chuck Baldwin. A great way to take away a vote from McCain, not even remotely support Obama, & still make something of a statement (even if it will most likely be ignored.)

    Like

    1. Unless he meets my requirements of ideals and stance, I can’t do that. My conscience won’t let me vote, just to vote, or for the lesser of two evils. I have to actually believe in who I’m voting for.

      Like

      1. Chuck Baldwin is currently the candidate of the Constitution party. Ron Paul endorsed Chuck over Bob Barr, as he shares more a couple of Paul’s Taft-era Republican / Libertarian ideals. I’d suggest looking him up. Let me know what you think.

        Like

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