Day: October 1, 2008

Dear Universe,

I get that you are trying to convince me to quit bending over and taking an ass-raping when I do things with my friends. But would you be so kind as to bless my friends with both the memory that they owe me money, and the good fortune for them to have enough to pay me back? I’m really getting sick of this crap, especially when I’m the one that makes the least amount of money out of all of them (and now have the highest amount of credit card debt).

Thanks.

Dear Presidential Candidates,

You both screwed the pooch in your debate. One of you I would never vote for, even under pain of death by a hot poker being rammed up my ass. The other, had potential because I believe in his ideals put forth a couple of weeks ago. But ideals do not the President make. And quite honestly, I’m not into being skull fucked, or anally raped. So pat yourselves on the back, I’m not voting for you.

Sincerely,
Someone who believes in the ideals of our founding fathers.