Day: August 1, 2005

Ok, so I have this paranoia…namely, the fear of running off, or thinking that I’m running off people that I’m really interested in getting to know as a friend (not pursuing in the style of a physical relationship). I know that I have a fairly strong personality when I can manage to carry on a relaxed conversation and can be over-whelming for people who don’t expect my openness. I also know that I have a bad habit of rambling about the most off-topic shit when I’m in an uncomfortable situation, and as such, have developed the habit of just not saying anything, which can be off-putting as well. Not to mention coming off as pushy when wanting to hang out with a new person. So, with all that said….

What about my personality has attracted you into my circle of friends, or has caused you to question whether or not you really wanted to be friends with me? I’d rather have everyone cool with signing their names, because I can take criticism, especially when I ask for it. But, for those of you who aren’t, you’re welcome to sign anonymously and not sign your name at the end of your post.

Seriously though, I’d really like to know the opinions of you all. This is something that I’ve had an issue with for a while, and if possible, I’d like to get an idea of what’s appropriate and not appropriate in meeting people. But please, if you’re offering advice, I already know about the “be yourself” advice, and that’s usually the problem. 😀

Now, for a substantive post. I have princesses that work for me, they don’t like the fact that I wear the crown and make the decisions. Knew that one was coming, so it’s just exasperating more than it’s annoying. I have some confusion in my head about a few things, but hey, it’s the girl-side of me speaking, regarding things in the male psyche that I never understood – mainly because they never bothered to treat me like another guy, instead, they chose to remember that I’m an innie instead of an outie. Funny how they time that recollection. Anyway, I have a massage appt this evening, because of the stress and whatnot elsewhere, I can’t bring myself to hit the gym first (no point in wearing myself out when I’m already tired). I’m hoping to make it in tomorrow between my meeting and my evening shift, that should help a little bit on things. I really need to get my physical yoga practice back up and running, and I also wish I had the cash to spend Friday afternoons at the rock gym bouldering, I’m hoping that would help stave the arthritis that’s flaring in my fingers.

I got the dates for Autumnfest yesterday. As usual, they scheduled the same dates as Prog. This is the second year they’ve done this, but I’ve got a better excuse this year….I’m working crew staff and I’ve known that since January. Though, I don’t think I really need much of an excuse due to the rising costs of this particular festival. I find I’m becoming increasingly annoyed with our COG chapter, though, I think I’ll reserve final judgement when they disclose where all the money is going that prompted the festival increase. My guess is that some of it is to cover those who choose to not donate to the Bionic Priestess Project. Eh, don’t have the funds to go anyway, D*C is the next major expense, and I still don’t have any costumes put together, though I do have ideas. My thrill is that I finally get to meet erynn999 and hopefully get some down-time where she’d be willing to let me prod her brain on things healing. 😀 Shall be verra cool to finally meet someone who gave me some direction and some clarity to forge my own path.

I still gotta post the nifty picture that WT snagged for me. It’s massively cute, I love that guy, he knows how to pick up my mood (and show me nifty movies that have lots of blood and new ideas to kill people). Speaking of, I need to pick up American Psycho the book. Seemed to have been missing a good bit, in regards to the movie. Though, I will say one thing that I completely identify with….the lack of inner “person”. There’s this facade that gets put on for public, but the actual person doesn’t really exist, the place where it should exist is this massive vacuum of space, where only darkness exists.

Oh yeah, I have a post on that, might do it when I have time later this week. I was actually pondering my own inner vacuum, so I shall let you all into that secret little staircase, that’s lit only by a yellow faded light that gives little to no direction on how deep the staircase goes.