Month: January 2007

My horrorscope from Tarot.com, today, was talking about a past conversation, and how I’m at the point that I can evaluate it, and put it away. I can’t say that there’s any particular conversation, however, there is a long string of events. Over my trip to my parents (what I didn’t feel like turning the video camera on for, even though I should have), I kept coming back to my issues with the male figures in my life. Those have always been messed up, somehow. Yes, this is Freudian, but it does stem back to my early relationship with my father. That revelation is quite blaringly obvious. But, my dad and I are on a much better plane right now, and I can put all of the issues that we had, while I was growing up, away. It’s the relationships that followed, that I’m having difficulty with, again. My mind always wanders to two in particular. The abusive one with D, and the fucked-up beyond any usefulness that followed with AOLs beloved “Bard”. Granted, the latter is just an irritating itch, but I’m still trying to figure out why it itches so much. I know I still have a great deal of anger towards D, more to the point, I want to mangle his body beyond all visable recognition. I don’t hate him, I don’t despise him. I just want to guarantee that he’s no longer part of the human race, I guess. I want him completely dead to me. So, I guess that means concocting another ritual, as a means to deal with him and put him further away from me.

But, I will say, the highlight of last week was waltzing with my dad to Lara’s Theme. That made me happy, especially as he let go of his need to control whether or not my steps were right, and just let them come as they may. It was flawless. My other happy point, was getting to talk with my Bitch for a couple of hours. I really miss him right now, but he has promised to be there for me while I spaz for the next couple of months. My Professore told me he believes I have a good change of medaling at Pan-Ams, so I’m going to go for it. Those will be in March, out in Cali. And, he wants me to fight sometime in March or April, MMA. So, I have my mum calling to wake me up every day, my dad has taken up the slack, to make sure I’m out of bed by 8 so I can be at the gym early. I’ll have to actually start weight training again, and working on my stand-up. The down-side, I’m getting sick.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention…I did a Texas Two-Step with a WWII vet, who fought at Battle of the Bulge. 🙂

Well, I have now read The Bridge to Terebithia. Still digesting it, much to the chagrin of my neice, who is determined to play with her Aunt, whose nose is stuck in a book. Oh well.

Scorpio for this week:

Don’t feel bad if you come from a dysfunctional family. Studies done by The Institute for the Study of Universal Addiction indicate that 97 percent of all families are dysfunctional. You should, however, feel bad if you pass up the opportunities you now have to heal the ravages caused by your dysfunctional family. Here’s a good place to start: By trying to dissolve your habit of feeling victimized, damaged, or burdened by the people with whom you shared your original home, you could release yourself from a curse you’ve been casting on yourself–and magically set in motion overdue changes in your other family members.

FreeWill Astrology

Heh, I don’t come from a dysfunctional family, but my extended family is the most dysfunctional thing this side of WinME (which, I just found out that my box had no where near enough memory to run ME, and I got the most that Dell would send me). With that said, my parents and I have been having a blast. The other day I went to watch my dad’s music group reherse, and I have video of that up on my myspace page. We had a blast. Today, I went with my mum for a spa day. It was her first massage and pedicure, she enjoyed it. 🙂 Now, to see how my brother is doing.

In reference to the previous post. This is by no means a slam to the friend who made the original post, as I respect her and her opinions, it’s more of a note in regards to a response I got to a post on her journal from someone else. I also know she was talking about the radical conservatives, often referred to as neo-cons, which I also loath. However, I do have to state, that if one is going to try and make an argument, please continue with your argument. Don’t stop in the middle of it with a childish act. Feel free to resort to said childish act once the discussion has devolved into childish acts. With that said, I do have to admit the amusement in getting a link to White House press corps version of the document that changed my stance on the “War on Terror”, specifically in the Iraqi front. Granted, I would have been more impressed, had the person linked to the actual bill as passed by the Senate and the House at THOMAS. Not to mention an actual reading of the press corps additions, vs a glance. Least, that’s the impression that I got off of the response.

With that said, it seems like I was right about Obama becoming a martyr to the Clinton cause. Now, whether or not her denial is the actual truth, remains to be seen. And it’s a he said/she said type thing that will probably never have the truth see the actual light of day. But at any rate: CNN debunks false report about Obama

Scorpio for this week:

Employees who work at the Grand Canyon are not supposed to tell visitors that the monumental gorge is over five million years old. Officials are worried that doing so might offend fundamentalist Christians who suffer from the delusion that Noah’s flood created the Grand Canyon a few thousand years ago. Keep this vignette in mind during the coming week, Scorpio. Let it serve as a warning beacon. I suspect that like a non-fundamentalist tourist at the Grand Canyon, you’re going to be fed a line of BS that was designed for people who can’t handle the truth. Either that, or someone will withhold the facts from you out of a concern that you’d be furious to have your assumptions questioned. As an antidote, be extra devoted to learning the real story that’s hidden beneath the official account.

FreeWill Astrology

I can see the second part happening. I think I’m finally used to people underestimating me, and actually comfortable with it. Now to just work on that reaction of anger in regards to it. That’s something I’m not good at. Least, the initial reaction.

Yesterday, I got pissed off at CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. They’re already targeting Obama for martyrdom, and the last elections left-overs haven’t gotten the hint that no one wants them in the top office. Well, I went on my usual tyrade over at Blonde Sagacity, in The Grotto section. That resulted in a request for a guest rant, which is now published.

With something I’d also like to add to it. Near the end of Blitzer’s interview with John Edwards, Edwards recognized that the President has full power in increasing or decreasing troop levels, when it comes down to it. But he also stated that Congress is well within power to force his hand, through budgeting. He listed conflicts, that he determined as Congress successfully forcing the end of American involvement, one of them was Vietnam. Yeah, Congress successfully ended that one, and their withholding of funds did a good job of making sure that lots of people paid for it, and not just with American lives.

The recent acquisitions:

War, Women and Druids: Eyewitness reports and early accounts of the ancient celts by Philip Freeman

Myths and Symbols in Pagan Europe: Early Scandinavian and Celtic Religions by H.R. Ellis Davidson

The Epics of Celtic Ireland: Ancient tales of mystery and magic by Jean Markale

Tantra: The path of Ecstacy by Georg Feuerstein

Any thoughts by those who’ve read any of these?

One of my goals in my trip to see my family, is to start laying some groundwork on my own rituals. The main one, is for my fighting. The secondary, is just for daily purposes. I need a means to separate my life bits again. I am doing a good bit of focus on my job, but that’s just because the drama is all too consuming. I really wish all that would end, so we can get on with our lives. I need to start giving myself more quality time while I’m not working, while balancing my internet time for my friends in other places. I hate the fact that everything is so distant, but when I can get time with those friends, I like to maximize it. Especially, in finding out that one might not have the time while I’m over there visiting. Sucks, but her family is more important, in my opinion, and they need her. But at least she’ll be in Denmark while I am, so hopefully we can go bar hopping then. 😀

Other than that, I just really want to start working more with my spirituality. I want to be able to develop myself, so that I can be more of a contributing member of that community. I’d like to do more work with the coire this year, so I can become comfortable with them, and be able to integrate that work into my massage work. That’s going to have to start with small daily meditations, so as soon as I’m done with this small snippet of grove assignments, I will begin on that. And I’ll probably do some work with them while I’m in my kundalini class.

And with that said….Jeg har kafe! (yeah, 3 word sentence, but I put it together, it didn’t come out of a book)

Scorpio for this week:

In the past, love has on occasion had certain resemblances to a wounded three-legged wild boar from a swampy junkyard in hell. But if I’m interpreting the coming attractions correctly, love in 2007 could be more like a white dove balancing on the head of a black horse as it gallops along a beach under a full moon in summer. Does the phrase “higher love” mean anything to you, Scorpio? It’s there for the plucking, if you’ve got the right attitude. And what’s the right attitude? For starters, it means that you vow to cultivate a fierce determination to see–and keep seeing–the best in people. Secondly, it means that you deepen your understanding of the fact that you can’t prosper at the expense of others. Thirdly, it means you become intensely aware that one of the best ways to nurture your mental hygiene is to enhance the well-being of the people you care about.

FreeWill Astrology

Well, let’s see, we have the number 3 in there, the wild boar, a white bird (though a crane would work better than a dove) and a black horse. Ok, got the celtic part down, pretty good dear boy. I like this scope. I’ll have to ponder the symbolism for a bit.