On July 4th, most people observe the day with fireworks, a parade, celebrating the Declaration of Independence, yadda, yadda, yadda. For me it’s a bit different. See, this day, for the past couple of years has been a no-go. Mainly, as my Scotsman hasn’t been much of one for fireworks, and you can’t see much of them for the trees around our house. So this year, I’ve decided to do something a bit different, granted, I’ll be taking pictures of the fireworks for my friends overseas. This year, is my celebration of my own Independence.

April 1, 2000. I left a highly abusive relationship because it was changing who I was, and I didn’t like it. I began the road to rediscovering the person who had been cast aside. At this point in time, I believe I’ve found her, and I’ve found her stronger and more resilient than she was back in 1997 when I kicked her out. She has been integrated back into who I am now and I am at peace with her. As a result, I have become comfortable with the paradox that I exist as…the dual gender, strong woman, warrior, healer, male protector, hearth keeper, hunter. Society, at one point told me, that as a female, I could only have one spouse. Society, at one point told me that to be complete, I must have a spouse and kids. Nature told me that I could not love just one person. Nature also told me that kids were not on the “gonna have” list. After rebelling against that, hating children for the fact I couldn’t have them, bouncing from person to person because I couldn’t be with just one. I have become comfortable with knowing that I can’t settle for just one thing. But what I can settle for, is being who I am, regardless what society has told me to be. So, for today, I’m declaring my independence, and celebrating it, from society’s rules. I will make allowances for social mannerisms, but will no longer take my cues on who I should be, and how I should act as an individual, from what society tells me. I will act fully, in accordance with how I see fit, and as the individual situations dictate. Because I can be the shoulder to cry on, and the heartless bitch who will dig a heart out with a spoon, all in the same moment.

Anyone else wish to join me?

4 comments

  1. Anyone else wish to join me?

    BTDT

    i’m a card carrying member.

    but…from my experience, independence is something you fight for every day, in one way or another. it takes guts to flip off the universe, just when you start to feel comfy with something.

    the trick is being able to ride the wheel, without getting dizzy.

    BTW, i recommend the book, Woman The Hunter, by Mary Zeiss Stange.

    i think you would enjoy it if you havent already read it.

    Like

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