Day: July 4, 2006

On July 4th, most people observe the day with fireworks, a parade, celebrating the Declaration of Independence, yadda, yadda, yadda. For me it’s a bit different. See, this day, for the past couple of years has been a no-go. Mainly, as my Scotsman hasn’t been much of one for fireworks, and you can’t see much of them for the trees around our house. So this year, I’ve decided to do something a bit different, granted, I’ll be taking pictures of the fireworks for my friends overseas. This year, is my celebration of my own Independence.

April 1, 2000. I left a highly abusive relationship because it was changing who I was, and I didn’t like it. I began the road to rediscovering the person who had been cast aside. At this point in time, I believe I’ve found her, and I’ve found her stronger and more resilient than she was back in 1997 when I kicked her out. She has been integrated back into who I am now and I am at peace with her. As a result, I have become comfortable with the paradox that I exist as…the dual gender, strong woman, warrior, healer, male protector, hearth keeper, hunter. Society, at one point told me, that as a female, I could only have one spouse. Society, at one point told me that to be complete, I must have a spouse and kids. Nature told me that I could not love just one person. Nature also told me that kids were not on the “gonna have” list. After rebelling against that, hating children for the fact I couldn’t have them, bouncing from person to person because I couldn’t be with just one. I have become comfortable with knowing that I can’t settle for just one thing. But what I can settle for, is being who I am, regardless what society has told me to be. So, for today, I’m declaring my independence, and celebrating it, from society’s rules. I will make allowances for social mannerisms, but will no longer take my cues on who I should be, and how I should act as an individual, from what society tells me. I will act fully, in accordance with how I see fit, and as the individual situations dictate. Because I can be the shoulder to cry on, and the heartless bitch who will dig a heart out with a spoon, all in the same moment.

Anyone else wish to join me?