Month: July 2005

Thank a Vet/Military person Day

229 years ago, a group of guys got together and declared this country independent from Britain. They started up this row called the Revolutionary war that was embedded in an idea of self-determination and self-governance of the people. And thus, our armed forces were born. These are the people that gave us our freedoms, and they are the ones that ultimately protect them. Thank them, because they do a job that many of us either choose to not do, or cannot do because of other limitations.

This summer is going to be another test of my body’s ability to cope. I’ve never had an issue with hard work, but my leg looks my back should, with scratch marks that will be visable for another couple of days. The mosquitos were out en force and targeted me while mowing the grass and watering the porch (we’re growing moss). The heat was a bit too much too. Not sure why because I can’t say that it was all that hot today, but it hit me pretty hard. So, it can be a safe bet that I’ll be feeling pretty useless this summer and irritating those around me. Oh well, until someone can come up with a means, outside of citronella incense, that can keep asian mosquitos away from me without melting my skin off, I’m SOL, and so are those around me. *sigh*

Stole this from FreeWill:

Ralph Waldo Emerson: “He who is in love is wise and becoming wiser, sees newly every time he looks at the object beloved, drawing from it with his eyes and his mind those virtues which it possesses.”

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: “Love, love, love: That is the soul of genius.”

Krishnamurti: “The problem, if you love it, is as beautiful as the sunset.”

Henry David Thoreau: “There is no remedy for love but to love more.”

Erica Jong: “Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more.”

Thought it was fairly appropriate for my life right now.

So, I’ve discovered something new about myself the other night, in regards to how fucked up I am with relationships. See, the dipshit ex used to use his attentions to other girls to put me in my place. Kinda a reminder that he can always find someone else, no matter what. It was one of the major reasons why I completely shut down, because if I flirted with others, then obviously I was thinking of leaving him (he saw it as a dose of his own medicine, and a means to control me). So, I’m still not as big a flirt as I used to be, and I tend to keep it to people I consider “safe”. Meaning, people I know aren’t going to take it as a sign that I want to be in a relationship with them, or that it means I want to have sex with them (totally different situation that caused that reaction). Anyway, my emotions, of late, I’ve been thinking had something to do with some jealousy feeling, and while it does, the feelings of jealousy are coming from the conditioning that the dipshit ex set into place. They are not coming from my own personal feelings of inadequacy. When I realized this connection, it felt like this whole weight dropped off my shoulders, and any low feelings that I’ve been having of late just jumped me right up to going to bed on a high note. Of course, this left me with the feeling of being completely stupid and childish in my reactions this past month, but gods it feels good to know that I was just being stupid and childish. It’s broken down a serious barrier for me between me and my Zoomie because it made me realize (not that I wasn’t consciously aware of it before) that he really is just a massive flirt. Yeah, that makes no sense, but if you, the reader, are trying to understand just think of those truths about yourself that you know and recognize, but then something happens that just turns that lightbulb up to floodlight wattage and the bell starts dinging in your head and the revelation and acceptance finally just makes you smile in that stupid goofy way that says, “Aha!”

And this is why I love and absolutely adore that man. It would have taken me longer to actualize this part of me if I had to wait for the next person. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I love my boys, if it weren’t for them, it’d be hard to discover parts of myself that require additional people. *lots of hugs, kisses, snuggles, etc to the both of you* Mraowr. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!