I’m a keeper of secrets. I hold the trust keys of friends, as the safety box for their soul. It takes a toll sometimes, but it brings me happiness to be able to look at my friends, and know more about them because I can see how they tick, I can explore them and myself, finding amazing things to appreciate and respect about those who call me a friend.
I also keep secrets that some don’t know I know. My training gives me the chance to see deeper, past daily actions, seeing the unsaid. The motivations remain theirs, but the existence is still held by me.
These things are held tight, by me. If one wonders, I send them away to the one they asked about. Nothing given.
My only issue is when I know I need to step-in and assist. It’s a roadblock sometimes, other times it’s a brick wall. Explaining the issue to those I trust becomes complicated, not giving a full explanation, trying to rationalize my own feelings and thoughts on the situation. This is the side-effect of what I am, I’m learning to live with it, and learning to let go when I have to, regardless the pain. My Dad always said I was trying to save the world, I’m finally learning that it’s too big for me, but at least I’m trying to live in it now.