Stolen from twisteddaydream
Author: Saille
Scorpio for this week:
The entrance to my local post office is an odd set of double doors. One of the doors is of normal width, but the other is bizarrely narrow, like something out of Alice in Wonderland. The only way I can use it is to turn sideways and squeeze through it. I believe this is an apt symbol for the metaphorical door you will have to negotiate in the coming week, Scorpio. As you approach it, you may feel bothered by its illogical and inconvenient construction. You may even be inclined to take it personally, as if it were an affront to your dignity. Avoid those reactions. Just turn sideways and squeeze through as best as you can, suppressing the urge to bitch and complain. That will prepare you perfectly for the weird but good luck that awaits you on the other side.
Gee, how right. Though, ditching assumptions out of my head and not taking things personally is a massive goal for me. I try to temper it with a good dose of cynicism, but it doesn’t always work.
In other news, I’ve decided what I’m going to do with my hair. Fuschia, with black streaks. In attempting to be somewhat useful today, I went shopping. I’m starting to hate Vicki. I have $100 to spend, and nothing fit. Not to mention I was mauled by 6 sales people, one of them twice. Seriously, if anyone has the inkling to start making lingerie, to Vicki’s standard of sexiness, for small breasted women – I’ll convert. I guess I’ll have to hit her website, thankfully I can use the card there. I did find one bodice I liked, but I didn’t have the $98 to cover the rest, and they didn’t have a smaller one. I also found an Anthropologie in that mall, which is nice. Means I don’t have to drive over to the Nuovo Riche area and pay extra for location.
And, in two weeks, I’ll be able to afford registration for my conference in Philly. The BossMan has a new position for me, which will pay nicely, and I’ll be able to afford a couple other weekend trips. One of them will be up to meet up with the Evil Twin in Chicago, the other will be later in the year to somewhere cold. Where I’ll go in-between, ya got me. If anyone has any ideas, or just wants to head off somewhere with me, just let me know. This next year is my year of the Vagabond (with restrictions based on work availability). Depending on how well this job works out….moonbird, we’re going to Italy. Both poles of the country.
This is why I love work….
Me: “Chief, WB and I figured out what to do with solicitors that call.”
BM: “Really? What’s that?”
Me: “Put them ‘on hold while playing Napalm Death.”
BM: “Ok, sounds good!”
Me: “Coul you pick up line 1 to check the volume?”
With that said, he was kind enough to turn the satellite to the metal station and suffered through Pantera until the end of the song.
Because I’m twisted like this, and so are some of my netfriends….
What amuses me? Being so lazy that I don’t cook unless it comes out of a can (I haven’t domesticated from my bachelor days), but when I do actually put effort into something, I do decently. My Scotsman, Mr. Always Ready for Anything, failed to pick up sauce with the ravioli he grabbed last night. So the resourceful little kitty here, managed to make a lovely butter parmesan sauce to go with it. Yeah, it’s simple, but hey, I didn’t have time to actually make the ravioli, this time. Need to do that some day.
And yes, this goes along with the conversation he had with my mum:
S: “Mum, you need to teach her how to dead head a rosebush today.”
M: “What makes you think she doesn’t know how to do it already?”
S: “She never does it.”
M: “She usually knows how to do things, she just doesn’t do them.”
Ok, as we can all notice the timestamp on this post, and know that the kitty has been up since 7AM, we’ll understand the shortness of this update…
Day was uneventful, SL was kind and just teased me for leaving him because I was “cheating on him” with another job. Lasted 5 minutes. Went to see Saw with shaedalis and the Evil Twin’s sister. WT was supposed to join us, because a customer overheard his reasons for not coming with me, and handed him a $10, I’m assuming he got lost in the loss of Tennessee, to whomever they were playing tonight. Very good movie, I enjoyed the mindfuck. There were some weak spots, but they’re all forgivable for the ending. Plus, the 3 of us now have a Val’s day date for the lovely horror flick previewed.
I made a step up today. Asked the very cute waiter (sister of Evil Twin says I now have a buzz cut fetish) for a tiny, tiny shot of Bailey’s for my coffee, he obliged and it was much good. Wasn’t ready for the Whiskey, yet, but hey, if I can build up a tolerance, maybe one day. At the moment, I’m having difficulty with the lower limb section of my left leg. Felt a tendon in my knee snap over when getting out of the booth after dinner, that’s triggered my calf to have an acute contraction that won’t give up. Causes slight pain under my knee cap. My Scotsman isn’t home, at the moment, I need to call and find out where he is, because my phone is turned off.
On the way home, I started thinking about a conversation I’m having with the Explosives lover I’m friends with. Got me thinking about my first real memory I have, in life. See, I remember brushing my teeth when I was about 2, and falling backwards into the darkness that was a bathtub and a tile floor, and waking up in the ICU with lots o’ bandages around my head. But that’s not the one that I fondly remember. The earliest one I have, I don’t recall how old I was, just being at an indoor community swimming pool, in Michigan I think, being placed on the side to sit. My dad swam off, it was crowded, and I was scared sitting there. So, I slipped into the water, and down, down I went. Just kind of floating there, suspended in water. I don’t recall ever touching bottom, but I also don’t recall any fear. Just a kind of inner peace. Then I was up top again, with lots of shouting and the lifeguard. Maybe I’ve always had this deathwish that would never be granted, least, not up to now. Not sure, but it’s seriously the feeling I hold on to when I need a slice of real peace. That space that I always seek to re-create when I need to. A serenity that I will only truly find at the end of my road. It’s an addicting place, maybe that’s why I’m always jumping into altered states when I can. Just trying to get out of this space, and into one where I can really rest. *sigh*
In other news, a slight tidbit about the freak that most probably don’t care about. My fav nighttime attire is my brother’s hand-me-down white button-up dress shirt, size XL. I’ve had it since I was 13, and it’s been a dress on me since. Strange kind-of safety, as we were never close after the accident. Maybe it was my connection to part of him that no longer existed. A part of him that suffered in the same silence as I have for years, we still haven’t talked about it, not the two of us. Hell, my parents and I just mention it in passing, until we can change the topic to something more suitable. And they wonder why I have such a fascination with death.
Another satisfying moment, is when someone puts enough trust in you, to allow you to see what makes them work, what influences their thoughts, and what makes them who they are. It’s a humbling moment, because it’s a greater responsibility towards that person, and the trust they place in you, as keeper of that knowledge.
That knowledge is a delicate balance, to a greater truth. Knowing when to mention bits and when to keep the mouth shut. The point in reminding, and being reminded of obligations towards that friendship. It reaches past the individual self. And I am honoured.
I love Anderson Cooper, especially when he does better research than the Director of Nat. Ed. and can point-by-point refute her on the abstinence only education that she put together.
Scorpio this week:
In 1964, U.S. President Lyndon Johnson declared an unconditional “war on poverty.” It was an enlightened use of martial force–an unprecedented attempt to channel the macho might of the federal government into an onslaught of benevolence. Now I call on you to pull off a comparable trick. In the coming weeks, convince your inner warrior to turn away from all temptations to express rage and destruction. Reprogram him or her to fight wildly in behalf of beauty, truth, justice, and love.
Hrm, I thought I was doing that already. And the losing battle was the source of my expressions of rage and destruction. Funny how that works, ain’t it?
Freakchylde's 