Author: Saille

Who am I? On the surface I'm a nature-loving dirt worshipping hippy in search of a good adrenaline rush. That's all I have for now.

I’m tired, worn out from the crap that’s been going on, and it’s only Tuesday. The really sad part, is my weekend was as close to a vacation as I could have gotten and it was nothing but absolute bliss. My goal is to track down the Whipping boy for a trip to the mountains tomorrow, or at least an escape to a coffeehaus in another city/state. I don’t know what’s going on, still having a slight disconnect from my Zoomie, which I’m slowly tracking down to his popularity and my desire to shun limelight. Yes, I talk about a bunch of personal stuff here, laying it all out and taking judgement as it comes, but really – I hate crowds, I hate lots of people, and I hate “adoring” fans who are so sickly sweet they’d melt if you added water. I know this is a contradiction in terms, especially in regards to my latest pursuits. I’m shoving myself into the limelight so that people can fawn all over my image, desire me, and shower me with all the attention in the world. If they do, power to them, otherwise, a simple “Wow, that’s hot. So what motivates you?” would rock my world. I like things to be in-depth, the people I will end up friends with are ones that will actually sit down and talk with me. Maybe that’s what I’m missing right now, meaningful chatter. Maybe that’s where the disconnect truly is, he’s slaving away at new-found success – which is great, and I’m happy for him. Means more growth to who he is, and I walk along the sidelines doing my own thing, waiting for a break.

Anyway, with things slowing down, a bit, I’m hoping to get some new entries into my pillow book. I have 3 in my head and I need to write them before I forget them. Might have to make notes to trigger the memories in the meantime.

Ya know, summer is not the time to look inward, that’s what winter is for, so why am I facing the wrong direction?

Fun things in the headlines…

Farrell gets restraining order
The tape is 15 minutes long, I wonder how much of this is motivated by desire to not let his adoring fans know how fast he can shoot, or just how bad of a shot he really is…

Family upset over shooting
Are they upset that they raised an idiot? Seriously, who goes out in the middle of summer, in a city that’s under a high security alert in a heavy winter jacket, gets into a fight with police (who have high powered weapons), runs away, and expects to not be treated with suspicion? No sympathy on my end, I think even the freaks of the world can agree, when you’re in that kind of environment, don’t do anything stupid. And if you’re going to look and act suspicious, don’t run from cops with guns, sit and chat with them and answer their questions, then be on your merry way. Oh yeah, and let’s think about this one…guy who possibly has a concealed bomb – do you shoot him in the torso and run the risk of detonating the bomb, do you shoot him in the leg and give him the chance to detonate the bomb, or do you aim for the head and not give him that chance as well as not running the risk of detonating the bomb by bullet?

Let’s also keep in mind that this guy jumped a turnstile and ran into the Tube, at what point does one wish to ask questions?

AFL-CIO threatens to focus on real issues
Wow, some of them finally decide to quit being a political body and start focusing back on worker’s rights. There must be a god, and he must have a massively big stick. Seriously, I understand the need for unions, to a certain extent, but once they try to play politics they cease being useful.

Guns are evil and a ban will reduce crime *coughbullshitcough*
When will our homegrown anti-gun nuts really look at the statistics in countries where private ownership of guns is illegal and really reflect on how well this policy works (note: look up crime statistics for Kennesaw, GA if you have any questions on how well gun ownership can work).

I have a freshly shorn head now. Well, at least half of one. Thought you should all know that.

In other news, I feel a bit better. Trying to decide which day I’m going to drag my ass to the mountains, as my workload has increased (yay!) which means more time needed to be communicative. But I shall have to let everyone know, as the spot I go to has no cellular signal whatsoever. I really need to recharge, and I have movie day with WT this week!!!! Can’t wait, he’s got lots of blood on the menu, so it should be good. Mraowr.

I’ve been on a nice little roller coaster here, today was test in how fast and deep of a drop I could have. I feel completely and utterly empty inside right now. Tempted to flog myself into a pile of tears, least that’s what I’ve been feeling like doing for the last 4 hours. But I was pleasantly surprised to get this email in my box

I’ve finally got the bug up my kiester to play catch-up with what’s being said in the “pagan” world. I wish the self-proclaimed Queens would quit speaking for the general pagan population…

Starhawk opens her mouth, again…

Most of my issues are with her “theology”, or “thealogy” as she likes to call it. First off, my goddess is a war goddess and if you piss her off, she’ll be more than happy to wash your blood-soaked clothes where you can see her. Second, my goddess isn’t the only goddess, there are quite a few gods I talk to from time to time as well. Third, well, we all know my opinion on the war. And with that, let me say that in regards to IWB and other UN organizations like that….well, if you want to go off on them, go off on the UN for being as much of a fuck-up as it is, currently. Yeah, we need to take care of things at home and in countries less fortunate than us, and we do what we can, within the confines that the culture in those countries allow. Honestly, I think the World Bank could give a free ride to all those countries, and it still wouldn’t solve the problems created by dishonest government, gerrymandering and power struggles. Those are my base opinions as a human.

Now, my opinions as a reluctant member of the “pagan” community. I wish she’d shut up on this topic. First off, while I don’t have a concept of evil, I do have a concept of what you don’t do and what deserves retribution in the form of armed conflict. Hell, look to the Celtic Myths to see how many cattle raids started because some woman got her panties in a twist over a bloody cow. You want warrentless wars, try those on for size. I’m not a peace-nik, peace is simply a stop on the railroad of life, it cannot exist as a constant and the boundaries of this world are ever-changing. Even as we walk into a “global” world where boundaries don’t really exist, there will still be some type of grouping, whether it be by culture, ideology, religion or political opinion. Those are the lines that wars will be fought over.

With all that said, I still don’t grasp what point she was trying to reach. It’s like reading Stuart Piggot and his interpretation of celtic religious history, only to reach his epilogue to see him claim that Druids did not exist. Any more holes and she’d have a water strainer.

Scorpio for this week:

Mountains are not always as static as they seem. Due to the collision of two tectonic plates, for example, the Himalayas are growing at the rate of about a half-inch per year. And in 1972, the flooding of an underground river moved a mountain in the Caucasus range over a mile in eight days. Likewise, Scorpio, a situation you have always believed to be fixed and inert is now susceptible to change.

FreeWill Astrology

Wow, for once the boy might be on time. Thank the gods for awesome friends. Speaking of, I find it interesting that the caption for my image this month is “Total Commitment”. Looks like my plans have changed and it’s time to focus inside again. I need to go to the mountains again.

Also from FreeWill:

Many people believe that happiness is a rare commodity attainable only through dumb luck. “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness,” said novelist Willa Cather. “One only stumbles upon them by chance, in a lucky hour, at the world’s end somewhere.” I disagree. My perspective is the same as the Buddhist researchers Rick Foster and Greg Hicks. In their book How We Choose to Be Happy: The 9 Choices of Extremely Happy People, they reveal that the number one trait of happy people is a serious determination to be happy. Bliss is a habit you can cultivate, in other words, not an accident that you stumble upon by chance, in a lucky hour, at the world’s end somewhere.

Very true. And it’s one thing that so many people forget. Everything must come from inside, we cannot gain it externally.

Just wanted to send a massive thanks out to all my netfriends and other oddities who’ve sent their energies to me this last weekend. I’m feeling much better today, in fact, I’m smiling more than anything and laughing pretty hard too. You guys are awesome, and you’re a good reminder for me, when I doubt myself. Even if it does require a steel-toed boot to my head.

For those of you who’ve been tapped as photoshoot bodyguards, if you are interested in Mixed Martial Arts fighting at all, please let me know, as I’m setting up my list of escorts to those. I’m even willing to shell out for the ticket and transportation to and from the event. I’ve got a few on the list as it is, but I want to make sure I can confirm attendence.

Mraowr.

Today, I feel dead inside. My meeting went well, just got back from it and spent most of day in a meeting. I couldn’t focus much, but at least we made some headway. I’m angry, upset, and empty. My Scotsman has been wonderful these last couple of days, been helping me plan and work through all this stuff. Have gotten wonderful suggestions from several people, thank you very much, I’m working with those and setting myself up for the future. I still have a few people I’ll need to talk to, in the meantime. Gods, I’m trying not to bury this within myself, which is what I’m struggling with, because I want to, but I know I don’t have time to wait for it to re-surface.

Anyway, goal tonight is the range. I need to sleep.

Well, I’ve figured out what my keen sense was about. Funny, how you spend so much time looking elsewhere, that you fail to look closest to you. For once, it was all about me.