I’ve tried writing this post several times, and it’s not working very well. In my experience, individuals come together in loving relationships because they have a connection with another person on a level that defies the superficial. For some folks it makes them feel more complete, for others – it’s a source of support in a loving environment for their own continued growth. Regardless, it’s an agreement that all in involved sign on to and are knowledgeable of from the get go, IMO.
Projects – they are things that individuals or groups work on, with a mutually agreed upon goal.
Relationships are projects that are of the mutually agreed upon kind, that involve the group, not the individual. When one individual views the other individual as a project, without a mutual agreement, the relationship is destroyed. Said individual has made the choice to take a role above and beyond the original agreement and exert a power not granted to him/her by the other individual. Complete breech of original agreement. Tends to cause the individual who was the project to question an entire relationship, the other person in the relationship, and him/herself. The longer the charade goes on, the harder it is to deal with.