Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
The sharks in German aquariums weren’t reproducing fast enough. Their keepers hired scientists to come up with the shark equivalent of aphrodisiacs. The most successful inducement to love was music — especially Justin Timberlake’s “Rock Your Body,” Bob Marley’s “No Woman, No Cry,” and Salt-N-Pepa’s “Push It.” I suggest you play tunes like those for you and your chosen ones, Scorpio. It’s an excellent time to coax out more of the tender, romantic sides of your inner shark, as well as the inner shark of anyone you’re attracted to.

FreeWill Astrology

Ummmmm, can we get off the relationship stuff already? Although, “Slap my Bitch” seems like a good soundtrack….Although…..let me come up with an alternative interpretation: Push it, in the form of forcing the boundaries and forcing decisions that need to be made. When you don’t have a woman, you can’t cry about it, because you didn’t hold on to her properly. But if you do, I can rock your body. That work?

Otherwise this is an official “Fuck you”. 😀 Said with absolute love.


  1. justin timberlake???

    “sharks patrol these waters, sharks patrol these waters. don’t worry ’bout the day-glow life preserver; it won’t save you, it won’t save you.


    swim for the shore just as fast as you’re able.

    swim like a motherfucker..”



      1. Re: justin timberlake???

        i dunno, it just struck me as an odd association. all that disco goop and sharks.

        morphine is a more balls to the wall kind of group in sound at the very least and they do have THAT song.

        i rarely listen to any music on the radio. i’m an NPR guy mainly because i have no broadcast TV either, so it’s my only source of news.


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