I spent today talking with one of my fears. It’s a residual one from when I was sick. Of all things that I fear going without, I fear that my mind has given out on me. Since I was sick, I’ve always had a problem remembering things. Every so often, I stumble and I forget things that should be simple. Like turning off the stove or oven, what happened 15 minutes ago, the name of someone I just met. I used to be good at these things, but over the years, they’ve been going downhill and I find it harder and harder to figure out whether it’s progressive, or me just slacking on memory skills. I’d like to think it’s just the memory skills and being too busy to stop and breathe, but something inside has been gnawing at me for the last 5 years saying otherwise.

I hate the idea of having to be one of the pyscho post-it note fanatics, but there’s no way I can get around it. If I can’t remember the most simplist of things, then I need to find a way to keep up with it.

6 comments

  1. meh heh… imagine what happened to my brain after having a kid! btw…have you seen it? my brain, that is…
    anyhoo… what i found helped me (since it wasn’t a physical malady causing my memory loss) is mental stim, learning something HARD, and getting enough rest. sleep was key.
    i hope everything’s alright…
    ghostie alix

    Like

  2. yeah i know

    i was bad about shit like that anyway.

    age fucks with your memory in a serious way. after my stroke last year i noticed other things. problem is, it’s so difficult to be objective about what you lose mentally.

    and sweetie, i can tell from your writing that your mind is still fully functional in many ways.

    tell you what. we’ll get together sometime, and forget each others names over and over, and tell each other the same story several times, and not give a shit about it..OK??

    Like

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