My site hit 10,000 hits today. That pops me up to around 100,000 + since I started this thing in 1997. I’ve undergone many growths and renovations to reflect it, and will continue in that vein as life goes on. I think the best thing I added was my journal, in both its incarnations on my own server and here at LiveJournal.
This site originally started as a project of me, something to give me a creative outlet and a means to speak out with the voice I’m still working to use. At first, it was just a single page about me, then I added poetry and links, then my rant essays, then the religions page, onto the religion revamped and then a journal and a guestbook that no longer works (but I’ve figured out the problem). This site has seen people come and go in my life, pictures of them fading in and out on various pages, the ones that mean the most still surrounding, ghosting the place.
It’s kind of amazing to think back to Skorpyon’s Lair (the original incarnation of this site), how it grew and then transformed into Freakchylde’s Playground when I left the chapter of Skorpyon behind me. I still have the final incarnation of that site on disk here. Sometimes I go through it and reminisce about things back then, the person I was, to see what changes I can still apply today. It just amazes me sometimes. The one thing that I’ve been able to fully dedicate myself to, besides my religion, is my website.
It’s kinda funny, and a few that visit can laugh at this one….when I find someone online who sparks my interest, instead of the “Here’s who I am” intro, I admit I suck at intros, and send them here. I’ve found it’s a good means for them to get info about me without me being self-conscious about letting too much out (as I have a habit of doing). But, it also manages to branch out the one-sided view of who I am. Yes, there is the outside persona that I tend to show to the general world, like the scorpion. Hard, ready to attack, guarding and watching those around me till I can get comfortable enough with them. Of course, that has been the point of this journal. Learning to open up, letting complete strangers into the workings of my mind and seeing the other parts of me. Bare and naked as I came into this world. And, for once in my life, the only real person who stiffles my interactions with the world, is me; not someone else.