Scorpio for this week:
The World Cow Chip Throwing Contest will be held this week in Beaver, Oklahoma. If you’ve got the time and inclination, I suggest you attend. It would be especially fortuitous if you not only watched the festivities, but also got a chance to compete. One way or another, Scorpio, you’re going to have urges to sling dung–either the metaphorical or actual variety–and it would be far better to do it in a setting where such activity is sanctioned. That way, no reputations will be tweaked and no one will get hurt. If you can’t make it to Beaver, Oklahoma, you should maybe arrange your own Cow Chip Throwing Contest in the nearest pasture. If you’re an urban dweller, it would be worth driving out to the sticks.
I think he smoked too much this last week. Unless he means it’s just time for me to get back to the rural areas I came from. But that’s something totally different from throwing shit. Seriously, I don’t recall looking like a monkey.