Day: April 27, 2005

Well, it’s sooner rather than later. My Zoomie is off running around prepping, and reality hits. Some of the guys that they’re replacing got nailed recently. I’m sure I’ll get the notice in a day or so, if not this afternoon.

See, I can understand the wanting to make me not worry by saying, “It’s ok, everything will be fine.” But the fact is, the chance is there, there is no guarantee. There is always the chance that today is the day to pass, for everyone. Being in a violent area just ups the ante.

Be honest, trying to sugarcoat does nothing except make lame attempts at detaching from reality. That’s the reality of a warrior that some close to me either don’t want to admit, or aren’t ready to confront (general comment, not really directed at any one person). If you’re not ready to admit and acknowledge that reality, then you aren’t ready to walk into battle, you’ll only risk the lives of others by your own inner conflict and it will affect the decisions you would make in the heat of things.

The physical result of life is death, no matter how you look at it, we live our lives because the only alternative is death, so why not live to the fullest and not fear death? All of our physical bodies are going to die, so why live in fear of it?

I can’t say that there’s a whole bunch of useful things to be said today, because there’s not. I’m in one of my thinking modes, of sorts. Can’t say I’ve sat down much with the female warrior idea in the last couple of days, because I’ve been soaking up all the Zoomie time I can get, so I’ll probably put that on the agenda for later.

Job stuff is coming ok, not much to say there other than the fact I need to get a copy of our revamped handbook and sit down to create a full agenda for the meeting. Definitely have some issues on the whole, as I can’t single anyone out. That massively sucks, but I have to, end of story.

Spent a lovely time last night with poisongirl, she gave me giant pick-me-up hugs, literally. We have a week full of wonder and entertainment planned, will be much fun. Also got to chat with her about some of our mutual funk, helped me out a bit.

Was also pointed to an interesting thing going on in the Federal legislative bodies. Seems they want to bury abortion providers in paperwork instead of legislating the medical practice illegal – to the point that they are defining a woman as someone who can get pregnant, regardless the physical maturity to do so (that’s a paraphrase). So what about those of us who can’t get pregnant (having the equipment is not a guarantee of functionality)? Does that mean we’re men? But that’s all silliness. In seriousness, that’s a troubling fact because any legal definition of being a woman that is that imperfect, will cause problems down the road. My Scotsman does not believe it will pass muster via Roe v. Wade, but it’s still disturbing that any woman up there hasn’t thrown a shit-fit yet.

I’m still waiting for the temp to get into the 70s, I need some more sun.

My legs and arms are hurting from the gym yesterday. Least they’re hurting in the right spots this time. My knees are holding up ok, but I can feel a fluid overload after my walks, which is not good. They’re responding to the individual reps nicely. I’m hearing less crunching in the joint, so maybe all the scar tissue is almost ripped up. Least, that’s my hope.

Ok, enough rambling for now.