Day: November 9, 2004

Outlines….

I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye.
My imagination betrayed me, you were real.
Stepping in places you weren’t supposed to be.

Not here, ever.
You were supposed to be gone, forever.
Out of sight, out of mind.

But no, you had to return.
Why? I don’t know.
Nor do I care.

As long as you are gone again.
You betrayed my trust.
Acting as if nothing happened.

As if you’ve been forgiven.
That won’t happen.
You haven’t earned it.

Stuttering around me.
Think I cared?
You are a dead man walking.

____________________________

You should have stayed home, passing by, seeing the facade on the side of the road. You weren’t meant to stop. I don’t know what you were really looking for, in walking through that door. I gave you up a long time ago, that time should be longer, but I was weak. It took me much time to open my eyes and see past my heart. I allowed too much to go into my illusion of us. It was childish, I admit. I’ve learned, though, and grown through it. I have moved onto better things. People who understand the value of honesty, they know when and what secrets to tell.

Seeing you unleashed memories, but not the pleasant ones you might wish for. Those aren’t around anymore, passed off as the lies they were. Hidden desires, how heartfelt is unknown, pathetic. Opinions aren’t many, if there really are any.

So, it seems there is a Poly conference coming up in February, in a city I was planning on visiting then anyway. Now, to contemplate whether or not I want to attend.

Strange, how some things happen, and how I move in various directions, just flowing with things. I find I’m absolutely excited about the arrival of Jacob, his woman, and their kidlet. In fact, for some odd reason, I’m seriously jumpy about the kid (baby-sitting duty, here I come). I’ve never been much of a kid fan, but as my close friends start spawning, I look forward to sending them out on dates with their SOs. No, I’m not feeling some biological clock ticking, if it is, the alarm hasn’t gone off yet and it’s not loud enough. If anything, I’m just enjoying the freedom I have right now, though, I’m itching to travel. I don’t think I’ll make it through the next two months of staying in place. I’ll probably have to take some day trips to satiate my appetite, but I really want to take weekend trips (my weekend), and that itch is a pain-in-the-ass to not scratch.