I’ve decided that Tuesdays are pretty much a no work day, similar to Sunday. It’s reserved for emergency clients only because I realize how much I need down time. I’ve been moving into that thing that I never wanted to become…a workaholic. And it’s detracted from my whole goal in balancing that work/personal experience thing.
I’m also stuck not doing the thing I really enjoy and find that I end up sitting on my ass doing nothing, instead of being active and having fun because I’m too tired from either being constantly on my feet and moving, or sitting around in an office doing nothing. Which I hate more than anything else, as it encourages me to be lazy.
I want to do more writing, but the creativity is not there, the head is not open because it’s clouded with all this work stuff and worry. Almost feels like someone stuffed me in a straight jacket and just keeps tightening the straps. Every time I try to get back to the gym, something comes up that prevents me from going, I can’t complain much because the money is needed, but I find it hard to tell myself to be patient for a bit longer. It almost feels like an exercise in futility. Where am I supposed to draw the line where I’ve been patient enough? I know where I’m going to draw it, but why do others seem to think I should hang on longer? Just too many questions, with very few answers.
Can’t wait to have the house pretty much finished. That will open up mornings. But at least the HVAC system has been installed…now I just need to get the digital thermostat. Have I mentioned how much I hate analog ones? They’re so inaccurate.