I can’t say that there’s a whole bunch of useful things to be said today, because there’s not. I’m in one of my thinking modes, of sorts. Can’t say I’ve sat down much with the female warrior idea in the last couple of days, because I’ve been soaking up all the Zoomie time I can get, so I’ll probably put that on the agenda for later.

Job stuff is coming ok, not much to say there other than the fact I need to get a copy of our revamped handbook and sit down to create a full agenda for the meeting. Definitely have some issues on the whole, as I can’t single anyone out. That massively sucks, but I have to, end of story.

Spent a lovely time last night with poisongirl, she gave me giant pick-me-up hugs, literally. We have a week full of wonder and entertainment planned, will be much fun. Also got to chat with her about some of our mutual funk, helped me out a bit.

Was also pointed to an interesting thing going on in the Federal legislative bodies. Seems they want to bury abortion providers in paperwork instead of legislating the medical practice illegal – to the point that they are defining a woman as someone who can get pregnant, regardless the physical maturity to do so (that’s a paraphrase). So what about those of us who can’t get pregnant (having the equipment is not a guarantee of functionality)? Does that mean we’re men? But that’s all silliness. In seriousness, that’s a troubling fact because any legal definition of being a woman that is that imperfect, will cause problems down the road. My Scotsman does not believe it will pass muster via Roe v. Wade, but it’s still disturbing that any woman up there hasn’t thrown a shit-fit yet.

I’m still waiting for the temp to get into the 70s, I need some more sun.

My legs and arms are hurting from the gym yesterday. Least they’re hurting in the right spots this time. My knees are holding up ok, but I can feel a fluid overload after my walks, which is not good. They’re responding to the individual reps nicely. I’m hearing less crunching in the joint, so maybe all the scar tissue is almost ripped up. Least, that’s my hope.

Ok, enough rambling for now.

Well, for some reason, I keep getting dragged into discussions about female warriors. They pop-up everywhere I go and I manage to resist some of them, but others I don’t. My grove sister asked me Saturday why I didn’t join up, other sister said because I’m needed here, which is true – there is something greater that I am needed for – and I explained my reasons – 1. being that I can’t handle someone trying to break me down again, even though my mind is now strong enough to over-power that, 2. the politics of modern-day paid-by-the-gov’t warriors and organization, 3. I like to choose my own battles.

At any rate, my brother commented about some guys just not understanding the beauty of the female warrior. And I have to agree. Honestly, I am definitely attracted to women who have the power and cunning of a warrior, and aren’t afraid to use force when it’s needed. I’m not into the idea of the helpless woman who needs the knight in shining armour to constantly save her from a situation she gets into. I understand that there are guys who are into that, and that’s all fine and dandy as there are plenty of women to provide that, just not me. My main issue is the fact that because of that fact, there are plenty of people who try to enforce that view and hold back the women who aren’t like that.

Yes, things are changing, and it’s nice to see that, but for those of us who are already there, it’s a bloody pain in the ass because we want to be out doing what we love and be who we are, but there are no forums for that – outside discussion. I’m slowly working on something local and at a smaller level. I think that’s a good place to start, no reason that there needs to be this massive public display of female warrior prowess, least for me. It’s a means of satiating my needs, and those of other women like me, who aren’t in it for the public display, but because it’s what we are.

My sister also commented on how there’s a grappeling between motherhood and being a warrior. Yes, there is, and for some women, they’re capable of doing both (with obvious time out for physical things). For others, the answer is obvious, motherhood is not an option, and others are quite content in being the nurturing mother and not the warrior.

Anyway, I’m slowly putting together more thoughts on this subject and will probably write more extensively after I do some research and put it into a more historical context for my site. Any info that others might have is welcome, as I might not have it, which I’d love to have anyway.

Scorpio for this week:

While mountain biking, I spied a white horse engaged in odd behavior in a meadow. Over and over again, it took two steps forward and two steps back. Was it neurotic or distraught? I decided to sit and watch. Five minutes went by. Ten. Still it continued its routine. Finally I got inspired to pray for it. “Dear Goddess,” I said, “please at least let that poor horse go *three* steps forward and two steps back.” Moments later, the creature started doing exactly what I’d prayed for. Slowly, it made progress across the field. Now I’m saying a similar prayer for you: “Dear Goddess, please help Scorpios escape their treadmill-like pace, and go at least three steps forward for every two backward.”

FreeWill Astrology

Hrm, relevent? Maybe. Of course, this could be one of my universal brick wall enforced pauses. Dear god I hope not.

Some days Donovan and I just get along….this is one of them…

Seriously, if you want to nail a guy for being a Hitlerjungen, look at the situation at the time for all of Germany. Yeah, wasn’t happy times for a good bit of the population, most of the general “I could give a shit” populace were also in survival mode, whether it be going along and being a good little Deutschkind and living in denial, or just living in a surreality hoping it’ll be over soon.

And BTW, wasn’t a great time to be German in the US, or Japanese for that matter. So we don’t have much of a one-up in this regards.

A friend of mine, last night, in looking at my pictures of me as a kid, commented that it was odd seeing me with a smile, and asked me where it went.

Tomorrow, I will answer that question.