Author: Saille

Who am I? On the surface I'm a nature-loving dirt worshipping hippy in search of a good adrenaline rush. That's all I have for now.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

If you’re a left-winger, you may think right-wingers are stupid or evil or both. If you’re a right-winger, you probably hold the same attitudes about left-wingers. A similar pattern prevails between most other groups that hold opposing views. You’re a rare person if you’ve never looked at a certain group of people and thought to yourself, “They are all sick idiots.” But in the coming week, Scorpio, I’m asking you to find out what it’s like to dispense with judgments like that. In fact, try living without any scapegoats whatsoever. If even for an hour per day, visualize the possibility that those with whom you disagree might be sincere and well-meaning. I’m not suggesting this exercise merely because it’s a nice thing to do. It will also have the magical effect of giving you access to parts of your own intelligence that have been closed off to you.

FreeWill Astrology

Man, all of them???? Of course, he left out the folks like me, who are a bit outside of the left/right split and think they’re all stupid.

That said, I’m now 2 weeks out of training because I still can’t breathe. This sucks. I’m gonna go to class, because I’m tired of not being in the gym. I also need to create a check-list for what all I need to take care of, before I leave for Denmark. I just have to wait for this next paycheck, to pay for my car tags. Licensure I can take care of on Monday, since I’ll have all my CEUs done by then and will be able to verify, if I’m audited. Otherwise, today is a lazy day. One client tonight, thanks to therapists who don’t understand the concept of working FOR someone. *sigh*

I made it through the first hour of the debate, then the ADD kicked in, so I went to sleep. I’m seriously worried that I might actually be flown (or bused) across the border to Canadia when I come back from Denmark. I’m also curious if I can apply for asylum there. After the performance of those two, HOLY SHIT! WE’RE FUCKED! I should have paid attention to Murphy’s laws, when he stated that anything you think can’t get worse, will get worse. And boy is he right. In America, those that can’t lead, always do, and those that can, always sit in the back. *handforeheadstaplegun*

It’s the most simplest things in the world, that make you turn your head for a double-take. In a society that prides itself on complexity, and ultimately finds that the most complex things fall down the fastest. Thinking that they are strong, and will withstand whatever is thrown at them. But the smallest breeze crushes them down, and grinds them into dust. I love the simple things. I love the small conversations about nothing. A basic thought that can grow into many, and while they all relate, they are all completely separate. A simple touch, that can tell someone exactly how you feel. And in that, I found the joy again. The joy that makes me look through everything that is negative being thrown at me, and know that I will be ok, again.

Scorpio (October 21-November 23)

The bad news is that you are, metaphorically speaking, in jail. The good news is that a recent visitor sneaked you the key to the locked door of your cell. The weird news: You have not yet realized that you have the means to escape, since your visitor did not actually tell you that the key is hidden inside a certain thing he or she left behind. The great news is that I’m here to inform you about the situation. Once you locate the key, Scorpio, slip your hand between the iron bars so you can fit the key into the keyhole from the front. It won’t work from behind.

FreeWill Astrology

So that explains this ungodly sickness. Though, if it’s cosmic, I’m screwed, as I have too much crap to search through.

In other news, I’m feeling as if I have been left alone, of late. The same work issues are surfacing, but that is for a locked post and not for public consumption. I’m not sure if I’m feeling neglected, or somehow separated by a wall, which I just can’t get my head around. Or maybe this feeling is just the cattleprod to say, “You are not where you’re supposed to be, so get a move on!” Then again, it could just be my general frustration with quite a few things. My living situation has ceased to be my ideal. My neighbors are mostly jackasses, with their stupid ghetto mobiles that they drag race around here at 11PM. It seems my complex did not replace my carpet, which I have pulled up, right now. I am treating cat stains, only to find older stains and mold. Yay for half-assed carpet cleaning by my complex. The positive, is the smell is going away, it’s just taking forever for my carpets to dry, thanks to the moist weather.

*insert break*

Ok, got the shop vac out to dry the carpets. It helped a little bit, but holy fuck, I think my apartment smells worse, now. I don’t know what the fuck was spilled on my carpets prior to my cats adding to it, but it fucking stinks. I honestly think the prior folks had a dog, because this is not cat piss smelling up the place.

Dear Universe,

I get that you are trying to convince me to quit bending over and taking an ass-raping when I do things with my friends. But would you be so kind as to bless my friends with both the memory that they owe me money, and the good fortune for them to have enough to pay me back? I’m really getting sick of this crap, especially when I’m the one that makes the least amount of money out of all of them (and now have the highest amount of credit card debt).

Thanks.

Dear Presidential Candidates,

You both screwed the pooch in your debate. One of you I would never vote for, even under pain of death by a hot poker being rammed up my ass. The other, had potential because I believe in his ideals put forth a couple of weeks ago. But ideals do not the President make. And quite honestly, I’m not into being skull fucked, or anally raped. So pat yourselves on the back, I’m not voting for you.

Sincerely,
Someone who believes in the ideals of our founding fathers.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

What reasons might you have to celebrate your own private holy day? Why might you want to go off by yourself or in the company of special people and conduct a reverent ritual that reinvigorates your knack for having fun? Here are some possible answers: 1. You’re overdue for a break from everything you usually do. 2. You’re hungry for the magic that happens when you take refuge in the sacred. 3. It’s time to stop the world and jump off long enough to break the trance you’re in. 4. You would generate uncanny blessings by paying tender attention to your origins, returning to your sources, and examining the foundations of your life.

Ummmmmm, all of the above and…..DUH!!!!!! I’ll have to copy more over from my recent myspace blog to elaborate, but that is ok.

In other news, the answer to #1 comes in two parts, today starts the first part. PROGPOWER USA!!!!! Which also bleeds into #2. 😀 See you guys on Sunday.

Since Randy is posting DFW quotes, I’ll throw my fav from his Rolling Stone article, page 10

Now you have to pay close attention to something that’s going to seem real obvious. There is a difference between a great leader and a great salesman. Because a salesman’s ultimate, overriding motivation is his own self-interest. If you buy what he’s selling, the salesman profits. So even though the salesman may have a very powerful, charismatic, admirable personality, and might even persuade you that buying really is in your interest (and it really might be) — still, a little part of you always knows that what the salesman’s ultimately after is something for himself. And this awareness is painful … although admittedly it’s a tiny pain, more like a twinge, and often unconscious. But if you’re subjected to enough great salesmen and salespitches and marketing concepts for long enough — like from your earliest Saturday-morning cartoons, let’s say — it is only a matter of time before you start believing deep down that everything is sales and marketing, and that whenever somebody seems like they care about you or about some noble idea or cause, that person is a salesman and really ultimately doesn’t give a shit about you or some cause but really just wants something for himself.

I highly suggest reading the paragraphs that come after this one too.

Scorpio (December 23-November 21)

Three enlightened teenagers I know have formed a gang called The Disciples. It’s dedicated to plying the dangerous arts of humility, curiosity, and optimism — three qualities that are so undervalued in our culture as to be almost taboo. Here’s their motto, which reveals how far they’re willing to go in order to listen well, keep their egos in check, and constantly scour their surroundings for reasons to be grateful: “We have no issues and no problems, but only questions.” I urge you to start your own branch of The Disciples, Scorpio — or at least work on cultivating their approach.

FreeWill Astrology

Ya know, this might be the kick in the pants I need. I’ve been feeling a bit stagnant lately and the words I find describing me to be: empty, dispassionate, blank, ambivalent and various other forms of uninspired. It really sucks, really it does. I did a vision quest the other night, with my brother, and found it to be quite insightful. At some point I may detail it, if not here, on my spiritblog. I just have to filter out the symbolism and figure out which symbols go with what detail of my life. At either point, I know that there is peace on the other side of this hurdle, it’s just a matter of having the strength of mind to get through the trials that stand directly in front of me.

The literary world just lost one of the most amazing people in this world.

Good night David, I will think of you always

I don’t write this because I’m a huge fan of his work. He was my Prose II instructor at Illinois State. When he first walked into our class, everyone had this look of awe on their face. I had no clue who this guy was, because the instructor wasn’t listed on the sign-up schedule. I had heard his name thrown around in classes, and knew that there was a class dedicated to his works, but still couldn’t match a name to his face. I guess I should have figured it out, with all the people in my class picking their jaws up off the floor. On the first day, he said that the second part of class was going to be dedicated to works dealing specifically with social sexual taboos. And if stories about rape, child molestation and cross-dressing was an issue, moral or otherwise, the person needed to drop the class.

Two weeks in to the class, after all those who weren’t going to stay ditched out, he handed us the syllabus with his number on it and said, “If any of you have a problem with any assignment, I want you to call me. At ANY time.” He and I sat after class discussing religion and how it changes the course of society. He pushed my writing, especially my course writing, in a whole new direction. He told me to quit writing for my Professors, because being “professional” did not suit me and encouraged me to take a more personal style – which worked. I also remember him looking at me with amazement, when I’d show up to class after driving 12 hours from Atlanta to Normal, just so I could make it to his class. Our first assignment, was a plot analysis of Pulp Fiction and how the anti-chronistic style changed the plot. I failed that paper. But having started in reading Infinite Jest, I completely understand the purpose of that paper and what he was trying to achieve. And I still have all the stories from the second part of class, uncomfy for some, but they were damned good cultural criticisms.

I think the best part of him, was the fact that all the other professors and instructors showed up to class in their suits or “Sunday best”, and he showed up in ratted sweat pants, two ratted shirts with holes in different places, hair pulled up into a bandana and secured with a toothed headband and a ponytail elastic. His shoes were usually mud-caked boots, left untied with the soles falling off in different places (till he got new ones he wore the exact same way). He really was an amazing person and I don’t think the obit really tells everything about him. But he’s one of the rare people in this world, whose passion played out in their actions. I know I have missed him all these years, and I will continue to miss him now.