Freakchylde's

So, what’s up with the me? Well, I’m still an insomniac, the source is the fact that I’m always running during the day to avoid thinking of fighting, and when I lay down to sleep, I’m going over drills, holes and future bouts in my head. Go me. So, to combat that, my Doc now has me on Relora to decrease the anxiety and orders to start meditation and yoga again. I managed to successfully wake up this morning at 4.30 to hit the bathroom and promptly go back to sleep, instead of eating a snack and heading to the gym as planned. But surprisingly, I’m fully rested. The goal is to get back to shift sleeping, mainly in 3 hour increments. I’m also going to make a solid attempt at getting away from the laptop more often. I should be spending my day off with my teammates and in the park, but I don’t. I go home and sit with my laptop. Yes, I suck. I also need to get better about my chores. I’ll do things in spurts, but never enough to get anything done. And that includes cleaning up my bike for actual use.

I made the mistake of looking at myself in the mirror the other day. I mean actually looking at myself and realized, I’ve gotten so caught up in everything, that I’ve stopped taking care of myself. My face is a mess, my digestive tract is an even bigger mess (mainly the stress and hyper-alertness). So I’m taking a pause in this next week, mainly to actually try and get my schedule set the way I want it, and actually hold to it. It’s gonna suck for everyone else, because I am going into hermit mode, so if you want to see me, please let me know and be flexible, as my schedule is pretty slammed. I feel bad, because I’m almost a month over-due for taking my sister to get her new skateboard, but at least I can afford it and the safety equipment to go with it. I haven’t spent near enough time with my Scotsman, and I keep blowing thegreyman off, along with a few other people – namely WT and moonbird (neither of which I’ve seen in MONTHS).

And yes, my goal is to also make it out to Sunday brunch again. So hopefully I can kick my ass out of bed earlier enough on Sunday after I get back from NC.