Freakchylde's

 Mmmmmm, today was perfect.  I slept in till about 2PM, as I spent all night chatting with a Kiwi of my own heart, as well as reassuring vila_rusalka that Sweden will be perfect for her and she shouldn’t be angsty.  I woke up to the perfect horrorscope:  Today is a day when you can have it all. If you were planning on a relaxing day at home with your family, you can do it. If you wanted to do something with a friend, this is possible too. Or you can make definite progress on unfinished chores. Although you might have to prioritize your day, fortunately you won’t need to choose one thing instead of another.  And I did.  Shortly after waking up, headed out to Target for some munchies, came home, cleaned a bit and watched movies and listened to Indie-angry-girl-rock, which I’m still doing.  It was awesome, and I am feeling so much better right now.  I’m slowly working back into the writing mode, the fog is lifting and I can see nothing but sunshine and slight clouds ahead.  I have quite a bit that I need to work on, in this next year, but boy is this gonna pay off for me.  I’ve been wanting this for many years, and the signs are here to proceed with them, so I’m going full-steam ahead and will outline more as they become more concrete.  But, let’s just say that my brother thinks this is the best thing I can do, and is actually encouraging my mother to invest in my idea.  Hearing that from my mum was the best thing I could have ever heard.  I know most people want to prove something to their dad or mum, but for me, it’s my brother.  I grew up in his shadow, and I know he appreciated the stuff that I did, but I always felt like there was some level of lacking belief in my choices.  Particularly, as I am the dreamer of the family.  Everyone up to me has done what they have to do to get by.  He did that to a point, then decided to do what he enjoyed and started making a good life around it.  I’ve always followed my heart, oftentimes to disappointment, but this time, I’m at the point where the time is almost perfect.  I’ve been waiting for this for years, and the fact that all is about to pour forth has me nothing but jumpy, happy, jittery, excited and all sorts of passionate, loving ecstasy open-hearted, etcetcetc.

Needless to say, I have finally found a purpose.  And I’m feeling nothing but balance, right now.