Day: December 26, 2007

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

You’re pretty smart, Scorpio, but would you like to become even smarter in 2008? It’s quite possible that you will get more skilled at managing and solving your personal problems. You may also become a better judge of character and develop a brilliant knack for knowing what’s good for you. There’s one main thing you have to do in order to ensure that you will fully activate these potentials: Become more generous. Here’s your thought for the year, courtesy of Eleanor Roosevelt: “The giving of love is an education it itself.”

FreeWill Astrology

While this seems to be the theme for my 30s, I’m not going to argue it. However, the concept as it stands is a murky one, given that I want to step back in to the limelight, but I can not do that encumbered as I currently am. I must shed some more skin and sever some more ties, so that they may be re-created.

I talked with my grove brother tonight, and it did reveal a few things that I was sure was what was going on. It does give me reason to look up again and smile at the sun. I spent today, mostly, away from everyone, turning my phone off and only answering what was necessary. I think I am going to continue the trend through the weekend, to give myself the necessary space to recover. I’m also going to start writing one of my love letters. I believe it is time for that one, as my heart is in the right place to do so.

There are some days, that the gun control nuts just make you want to shoot them. I really don’t grasp how they think adding something else (mental health evals), to the long list of requirements for firearms purchases, is going to keep guns out of the hands of criminals, who tend to not legally purchase firearms for a reason. I really don’t get that logic, at all. *shakes head*

Otherwise, life is getting better. The roommate situation is in a better spot, I’m a little more comfortable here and I think it will get better. I acknowledge that I need to take time away from everyone right now, because I’m wanting nothing more than to lash out at everyone, for small things – because the bigger ones are easy to deal with when the fire ants aren’t stinging you constantly. I need space to just be anti-social.

The bruises on my arm are starting to go away, but the movement is hard in the morning, I think I slept on it wrong last night.

For the most part, my weekend was pretty good. Still don’t know where I’m trying to go with all of this, but I feel like I can’t be who I am anymore. I feel like I’m being told I have to hide, from multiple people, and I think that’s what upsets me the most. I can’t really talk about half the things that need to be talked about, because those who need to hear it either don’t want to hear it, or want to continue to live in their delusion of reality and me speaking will shatter that. It’s stupid, I know. On one side, I continue because talking might inhibit the growth of someone close to me. On the other side, I don’t talk, because the more I explain, the more clouded the issue seems to become. I have a couple of level-heads to assist in maintaining what little sanity I have left. But all-in-all, it still makes me want to tell everyone to fuck off and to deal with whatever it is they need to deal with. Taking their issues into account when interacting with them is really getting annoying, especially as it just facilitates their fantasy of reality even further. It would be nice if this was just a small minor thing, like a bug phobia, but unfortunately, it’s not.