Day: April 7, 2007

I have to say, the feeling of jealousy is an interesting emotion. Since last night, I’ve been turning it over and over in my head trying to make some sort of sense about what within me is making me feel this. A sense of loss? Maybe, and most likely. A sense of wanting what I can’t have? No, I have come to the conclusion that, that is not the case. It’s more like looking over the last couple of years and remembering what I had, as I watched it circle the drain, and seeing it rekindled anew elsewhere. Watching the cycle repeat itself, only this time, I’m the outsider looking through the window. I honestly can’t complain, as I’m the one who chose to seek the fleeting moments that I string together, vs the long-term rollercoaster of hills and valleys.

Of course, this could just be me crashing from the highs of the weekend and being over-socialized and wanting to spend a quiet night at home. Or it could just be me missing my boys, since they’re crashing too, and all of us just want space right now. Maybe I’ll make this a quiet weekend. Whispering only.