In a recent emailing, a list member invited anyone interested to her space to discuss community building, effectively. In her invitation, she listed her grievences towards the general pagan community, mainly lacking cohesion, anti-christian sentiment, gluttonous behaviour towards the body, and of course…promiscuous behaviour. At one point in time, I recall one of my instructors at school (a psychotherapist by trade) discussing how we tend to focus in on what we want to see, e.g. we’re buying x car and suddenly we start noticing x car on the road every day.
So it got me thinking on how much we might, as a macro-community, perpetuate these problems because we focus on them, and thus we always see them? I, personally, don’t believe these problems to be any greater in the pagan community than in the greater community, at large. I also think that it might be part of a greater conditioned POV from our society (can only speak from the American perspective), that says we much remain sexually puritanical in public, and the backlash against obesity vs. the acceptance of the body that many alternative religions espouse, and of late – the anti-smoking epidemic that forces to the fringe, those that choose to light up. There’s also this ideal of some in the alternative religion community, that snags the body is a temple philosophy from Buddhist teaching, but takes it to an almost puritanical extreme. One thing that I notice in the pagan community is the respect for individual choices. Meaning, respect for the individual’s choice to smoke/not smoke, drink/not drink, have various relationship set-ups, being healthy or having not-so-healthy habits, etc.
I understand the desire to create a micro-community that one can belong to, because we’re a tribal species. But there is a limit to the control of one, because it becomes its own entity and grows and expands. That is a problem in the greater community, due to some parts of it growing faster than others, and the problems caused when some aren’t ready to give that type of respect or control to individuals. I can appreciate the desire to create a community, to which we, as individuals, can belong. But when we focus on the issues we seek to fix, we ultimately set ourselves up for a downfall when the community grows and leaves us behind.
Freakchylde's 
Honestly, I’d agree with both views to a certain extent.
I think pagans in general seem a bit sensitive to their own sense of validity and self-worth; as an example, every time I was out at some pagan gathering, it seems like someone would feel the need to excuse his/her eating evil nasty refined carb foods. Yeah, I was on a low-carb diet, but why did *I* care if they wanted cake or bread or whatever? Who was I to judge them? If they wanted to eat that, who was I to shake my finger? Judging someone’s food choices, from their choice of sweetener to their opinion of EVIL CARBS, is TOO TACKY FOR WORDS.
I also think the pagan community tends to swerve into overcompensation on many issues. Okay, so maybe those issues exist. Okay, and? Why focus on what’s wrong? Focus rather on what’s RIGHT. If someone doesn’t respect your choices, they’re probably not going to go far in the community till they learn better.
Ultimately if we lead by example, hopefully others will follow.
PS: I think I know every single Miata by sight in Boise by now. It’s true what they say about X car…
Cas
LikeLike
I’m with you here. Yes, these problems do exist, and they will continue to exist as long as people are shifting their viewpoints to these alternative religions. I like to call it the carpetbag effect. Basically, there’s a few things about a new religion that attract them, they start finding community, and then the socialization kicks in and they have to reign it back to the foundation that they grew up with. This is why I see it more as a societal problem than a pagan problem. There are those, who come from families, such as mine, and are pretty damned fine with anyone’s choices – even if they are harmful to the individual. The recognization that there’s only so much you can do, before someone stomps on your parade and shuts it down. I think within the pagan community, it’s because we do, kinda, have a focus on helping other people and not really taking time for ourselves and being with ourselves (more in the smaller communities than in the bigger ones, like BP).
LikeLike