Today at work, a woman complimented me on my triskele, by name. I was impressed and thanked her for her compliment and commented on how she actually knew what it was. She responded that her mother was Irish and that it was a symbol of the trinity. I held my tongue, as it is a broad symbol of Celtic Christianity and has retained its status in one country (don’t know of the others). Somehow, that memory of today got me thinking in the shower. I have a nice sized triskele on my back, right about where my heart chakra is located. It was interesting, thinking upon it and the chakra work I’ve had done, as well as various elements of my therapy. About the beginning of summer, my throat chakra area started closing up. I was constantly feeling as though someone was choking me and having trouble swallowing. I’d spend several minutes, after the onset, moving my trachea and larynx around, working around my hyoid bone (if you poke on your throat, it’s the bone that makes the clicky noise and goes up and down when you talk and swallow) and the muscles behind it. Mainly because I don’t trust anyone else to, with the exception of my soul sister, from school, and my therapist. I’ve always been a shy person, vocally, but I’ve always had other means of self-expression. This past year I’ve felt as though I’ve been choking and inable to express myself. To combat that, you’ve noticed I’ve taken up writing here more, and voicing my opinions more aggressively. I still feel like there’s still hands on my throat, spiritually. It has been one thing I’ve been aggravated about because I used to be able to take whatever spiritual time I needed, in meditation, trancework, energy circles, etc. I haven’t felt I have the time to do that. I’ll spend the vacant time before I go to bed, during the week, doing a little meditation work, spending my run in trance, and reading when I can. But I don’t feel that is enough, I feel like I’m severely lacking. I was hoping to spend this past week alone, and using that to work everything I felt I needed to work, but like always, things got in the way. Plans were cancelled and schedules were not adhered to. This next week gives me a little time, along with some pagan-y time with a visiting friend. I’m hoping that will help, as I’m not feeling shy about doing some work with him while he’s here. I’ve just got this itching, and I’m not sure how I’m going to make it all work!

Ok, boring day, stupid comes out of the box. To the point a guy came in bitching about his name being misspelled on his dog tags, only to be shown that he was the one who misspelled his name, we just copied it as we saw it. Yeeeeeeeee-ah. The day continued as such and I’ll write more about it later.

Just finished watching a nifty segment on Ireland and its pre-history on PBS. Got it Tivo’d to make tapes later, for those of you who want a copy, mail me, or give me a VHS tape. Anyway, I’m not going to get as much time as I wanted, to work over my healing theories, perform my ritual, and all those fun things. It is this point in time when I wished I still lived on my own. It would be easier to hole up and write than it is living with someone else. Guess I’ll have to work on my quality time issue during the day. *sigh*

I broke down today. I joined a gym, so moonbird, you have a morning workout partner 3 days a week starting next Thursday. Also got dicked around by a car salesman (surprise?) and going to research and get more quotes this next coming week to see what I can get.

Note to all my religious-y friends, regardless of your personal bent: please send energy, prayers, strength, whatever you determine is needed to the soldiers down south who’ve been captured and are being held. So far, I’ve found they’re quite comfortable with the fact they’ll probably never leave that country alive, but hey, help is always a good thing regardless. I know the boys/girls over in the M.E. need it too, but I’ve found that plenty of energy is going out to the known war, but none, outside of the families is going to the unpublicized one down south in our attempt to crackdown on drugs. I’ll be sending mine out this upcoming Thursday, when I plan on setting up my own little opening ritual.

Ok, this slightly irritates me, yet also causes some understanding from me. Watching CNN’s 360 w/ Anderson Cooper, and one of the stories is about 3 military guys who’ve been taken hostage in Colombia. Because I was interested in finding out what all was going on with them, I started looking through all the major news sites that I read. Nothing! There is absolutely no news on this! The video clip that they showed, had the senior officer telling, whoever was going to get it, not to try and facilitate some type of grand escape because, “this is not a movie, there will be no grand escape where we live.” It’s sad, because the father of one of the soldiers was on the segment and even he agreed that he would probably never see his son again. I hope our gung-ho violence military heads will decide on a smarter route and actually try the diplomatic approach that this group (obviously) is trying to seek. It would be a pity for these guys to die because our gov’t is too arrogant to compromise.

I’m working on this right now….

Scorpio for Oct 16:

“The science newsletter, “Mini-Annals of Improbable Research,” did a poll of its readers on the question, “Does reality exist?” Forty-two percent answered yes, while 31 percent asserted that it most certainly does not. The remaining 27 percent were undecided. A few of the latter believed that their reality exists but no one else’s does. Two people said, “Yes, reality exists, but you can’t get to it.” According to one respondent, “Reality exists only when it is really necessary.” Remember that line, Scorpio, because it will be quite necessary for your reality to exist in the coming weeks. Here’s another response to the poll that you should make your own: “Reality especially exists right after a thunderstorm.” I predict that your reality will become vivid and deep once your metaphorical tempest ends in a few days.”

FreeWill Astrology

Ok, as I can’t do a hands-on workshop yet (kindly reminded I have cats), I can start the discussion workshops because I was planning on having those at the La Madeleine’s in Marietta. It’s central, it’s quiet, it’s got coffee and food, and….I love the place, got the atmosphere for “intellectual discussion”. I’m thinking I’m going to do the first topic on ‘spiritual healing, what is it and why is it used’. I haven’t decided on a day yet, so those of you who are interested, please let me know which days you’re available the 1st week of each month. I have no issues with rotating days, first workshop will be the first week in November, plan and let me know.

Ok, is this convert a freak week? Seems I look ‘pagan’ in my alternative dressing standards and that requires everyone possible to talk to me about the greatness of jesus and the christian god. No offense, I don’t go “Goddess Bless” everyone, or hand out pamphlets on the greatness of the all-mother. So why should I have to take that from others? Anyway, work was fairly boring, I’ll write more about that later…Trying to ponder the work I’m choosing to embark on, which directions I wish to go with the work, and how I will choose to work it. I have come up with a timeline for how I want to work my job. When I come back from my vacation with my parents, I’m going to get a job in a spa, work the store and the spa, and then quit the store after 2 months. That will help me out with car payments, and give me a chance to get the paycheck going from the spa and work on my own clientel. I feel confident in that.

Ok, teaching position isn’t open at this point in time. So, after Samhain, I’m going to get into the spirit of the season, and get off my ass and actually put more effort into getting my business going. Next week, I’m going to head over to yoga early and do some research on the job board for things in my area and see what’s up my alley. That way, I can use money that will go into my business account to get my license and that way I can advertise the hell out of this city till the word of mouth gets going. I’m actually beginning to feel the impulse to start putting things into action. In the next couple of days, I’m going to put together my list of goals for the new year, one of them being, adding at least 3 new monthly clients to my current client list. I’m going to try to be realistic and not expect the sudden influx of having every appointment on my calendar filled, but I want to start with 3 regular monthly appointments to add to the one I already have. I also have some ideas about mixing erynn999‘s 3 cauldron work with my own body work and see what I can come up with. I was talking with one of my former instructor’s about it and she’s really interested, so I know I have someone in the massage field I can bounce ideas off of. The ideas that came up last night, that I’ve solidified into ideas, one is a monthly workshop on journaling, energy work, personal exploration, etc. The other is another monthly workshop that is just pure discussion – philosophical, historical, etc, etc (Literati subjects). I think that will keep me busy for a while, as well as stimulating my own self and providing/fulfilling my own goal that I set while I was in school. I’ll also need to talk to some of the nursing homes, homeless shelters, and potentially kid’s homes to see what work they’re interested in letting me do…preferably massage work.

Gods, yesterday was sooooooo fucking boring at work. I don’t think I’m even going to bother with writing it up in the work journal, not worth it. Spent most of the evening, after the meeting, talking about internal energy work, body reading, and journaling with the newest addition to our borderpagans family and shaedalis. Didn’t expect to be there till midnight talking about it. But I’m fine with that. Skipped the run today because I’m going to yoga later, so I figure I’m good on that. Talked to the Marine for a couple of minutes last night. He took my call, so I take that as a good thing and am happy he still likes to talk with me. I plan on asking him to help look up the MP, though, I’m still planning on stopping by the place last seen. If he’s there, I’ll talk to him, if not, I’ll give up and take that as a notice it’s not worth it. My me time will be relegated to next week, due to plan changes. I don’t mind, but I need to get snapping on doing stuff regardless. I’m such a slacker sometimes, but hey, it is the contemplative time and I’m learning what I need to do in the coming time. Though, I have one ending that I’m happy about, glad it happened, never thought it would come to this but it did and off it goes. Now, off to the rest of my life.

Oh yeah, this is my journal, and I’ll write about whatever I want, don’t like it, don’t read it.