Freakchylde's

Well, yesterday I got in touch with myself. Basically, it started during my last class, Therapeutic Skills/ Beliefs. The main activity was not discussing the philosophical debate behind beliefs, it was touch and how that integrates with our own beliefs and the potential effect on our clients. So, for 2 hours I laid on my back, listening to a relaxation CD with my instructor (a Psychologist) leading us through a meditation. During the 1st 30 min, we allowed our bodies to move in the manner they wanted to move, not the manner our conscious mind told them to. It took me a while because I didn’t want to tell my body to move, but it wasn’t going to unless I did. So, I told my cat self to take over, and it did. Basically, the point was to get us out of our head and into our body. The 2cd 30 min was touching various body parts and registering in our conscious mind what our unconscious mind was experiencing and what our bodies were telling themselves through the touch. It was pretty mind-blowing for me. The last 30 min was to sit and absorb and process what we felt and where. I so wanted to break down and cry for awhile, almost did but just couldn’t find the command to allow my body to go ahead and express itself that way. All I wanted to do was to call up my Scotsman and tell him how much I love and appreciate him for being who and what he is, in regards to us. I never realized exactly how much I really focus on my body. I mean, I knew I was self-conscious, but I didn’t realize I was that self-conscious. But, I came to grip with that part of me, and told my body that I didn’t hate it, even though I acted like I did. And asked for its forgiveness for allowing someone else to decide what my body perspective was and believing that perspective. Needless to say, I’m slightly vulnerable right now, in those respects. But that’s why I have cats, and I need to go pay attention to them, then off to sleep.