Author: Saille

Who am I? On the surface I'm a nature-loving dirt worshipping hippy in search of a good adrenaline rush. That's all I have for now.

Scorpio for this week:

“Warning and congratulations! Wake-up calls are on tap. Here are examples of the kinds of benevolent shocks you may be treated to. 1. You reverently approach a cherished idol. As you bow down, you spy a dirty sock on the floor. 2. You dream of hiking through green hills in springtime. As you loop around a huge boulder, you come upon a mare giving birth to a colt. 3. You receive a Hallmark card in an envelope with no return address. The corny cartoon on the front turns you off. But when you open it up you find a slip of paper on which is handwritten a brilliant poem that fills you with catalytic emotions.”

Compliments of: freewill astrology

I have my concert date back. Kindof. I’m hoping he can make the show next week, because I’d love to spend some time with him. I figure if all my paperwork for the loan gets done, I’ll see if he wants to get lunch on Friday after I go pay off my car. It feels great.

The moonbird and I were talking last night, about putting various past people out of my life. Well, they are. Lack of respect leads to lack of life in my world. Besides, the Marine warrants more respect and admiration than most of the people I’ve been interested in.

Which brings up another thing…at last night’s discussion we were talking about hero’s and those we look up to. I commented that I was screwed because the person I look up to is a career marine sniper. Not just because he has my dream job, but the guy has qualities that I feel I need to get back to. The ability to brush things off as they happen, to not let other’s opinions of him get to him, the ability to fill multiple roles, yet still be this guy who’s nice, has a wicked sense of humour, and absolute love of life. It’s great to have him back.

I am so not used to driving at a higher elevation. But I love my car!!!!! What I can’t get is how the damned dealership thought I’d give my car to them for $100.00. Hell, I know it doesn’t look like much, but even by Kelley Blue Book standards, it’s still at $1,500.00. Fuckers.

I was on TV today. Fox likes to come to work to interview us for various gov’t things. Today was in regards to the local troops that will deploy to relieve the guys who’ve been there for 1+ year. To be a girl, they would have picked the day I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. Didn’t make as much as I thought I would, but that’s thanks to sitting at the dealership for 1.5 hours. 😛 But I have my car!!!! Still haven’t gotten the loan packet that I was told I’d get today. It should get here tomorrow, then sign, then re-ship. So, at the latest, new car will be officially mine next Tuesday.

The egg has been completely carved, I’m going to experiment tomorrow and fill it with wax. It’ll give it a heavy feel, and it’ll help seal up the holes that were necessary to drain it. I’ll post a picture tomorrow when I finish.

Oh today was long. We’ve been getting our insignia shipments in, WB left them on her desk. I’m slightly pissed about it because this is stuff we’re completely out of. Flag patches for the uniforms, they were in a box that hadn’t been opened yet. Could have sold half of them over halloween. Had a Marine come in, we were his last ditch effort before heading to an officer’s gathering in getting insignia. They were in a box, unopened. (But at least one wish has come true – he was in his dress blues *prrrrrrrrrrrr*). Spent most of the day pricing and stocking the stuff. Almost done, spent yesterday doing the patches. Dipshit, the one that used to work for us, really fucked over the organization. You can’t find jack crap! So, I reorganized some of it. SL is planning on re-organizing it into branches of service, so the morons that work with me don’t confuse the Navy/Marine capt’s bars with AF/Army. MM asked me how well I knew the insignia, said I’ve answered his questions up to this point. Told him I was pretty good at it, and what I didn’t know I could pick up quick. He said, from now on, he’s asking me. Not WB. I really don’t get her. When I’m wrong, I’ll admit it. I know I don’t know everything. Because I know that, I suddenly don’t know anything and she won’t ask me any questions or even try to learn. She just pretends she knows. Then passes it off to me. I just don’t get that shit. Never have, doubt I ever will.

In other realms, I’m in the process of making a Druid’s egg for a new dedicant. I’m scrimshawing it out of an Emu egg. I’ve got all the knotwork penned on, now I just have to attack it with something sharp enough to break the shell. I’ll get a picture of it and post it, before I hand it off. I’m quite happy so far.

In other universaii…
I was supposed to go sign the buyer’s agreement for the Element, to get my loan tonight. Didn’t make it. This brainchild locked her keys in her car again, twice. Got the rear door open, and promptly closed it, after locking it. Fun. MM said he’s going to make me a spare key tomorrow to keep in my locker. The one that was there didn’t work (the key that mirrored for this one went home with a woman who promised to return it, and never did – bitch). Anyway, tomorrow I’m taking care of it during my lunch break, the loan paperwork should be here by Friday, overnight it ASAP, then have a new car on Tuesday. That means Friday and Sunday (possibly some of Tuesday) will be cleaning my current car to see how much I can get out of it. It’s about to die anyway, might as well get something for it.

Yesterday was cool. Instead of the yearly dinner, I finally managed to go see the Shaolin Warriors performance. shadaelis, you missed a good thing (knew you weren’t there because I didn’t hear the heckling of victims). Anyway, the performance was wonderful. It was very cool to watch them, and know exactly what they were doing. Before every stunt (I mean the ones that involve pain to the mundanes), they did the wheel of elements, to balance. Knowing that brought me a greater appreciation to my instructors at school. At one point, I was even walking the wheel with them, getting a poke from my Scotsman. The first half of the performance was kind of annoying. Two of the kids behind me wouldn’t shut up, almost reached back and choked one. My Scotsman thought that would be funny. Instead, during the first part of intermission, we laughed as they bemoaned the guy who was clapping a cheering at everything they did. All the while, commenting about rude people who interrupt the performance with loud noises, while looking at them. After that, I got up and walked to one of the staff and complained. We were moved closer to the stage. The second half was much more enjoyable, more polite people who paid enough for their tickets for them to shut up. Then off to a nice dinner next door. At some point, I’ll have some ruminations on the whole experience (not including the chatterboxes, who’s parents would not explain etiquette to them).

What’s up with today? Today? Work, I’ll be doing that all week, and slowly writing about it in thehodgeroom. On the way home, my temp gauge on my car bolted. Took me over an hour to get home and now I’m pissed. Oh well, at most, a week and a half more before this car goes bye bye. I’ve got a bit of paperwork to do to finalize my loan, but all is well and all is good. I will have a new car soon!

Last night was interesting. My need for contact with a willow tree is satiated now. The priest of our sister grove was in attendence last night, and brought me a willow wand with sopadine stone (sp) as a life anniversary present. It caught me completely caught off-guard. Last night’s ritual was wonderful, at one point, I blanked out, as if I wasn’t even there, and didn’t ‘wake up’ till I reached the elder mother of our grove. I can’t even remember what I was blessing people with (though, I did catch myself blessing someone with the wrong thing, I think). I’m not sure if I was imagining myself doing the previous blessing, or if I actually was. But that is fine, all went well. I’ve got much thinking and pondering of discovery for this next year. I have growth that must be accomplished, and I can’t avoid it now.

I’m seriously lethargic. Seems to be going around. I’ve decided I won’t be going to yoga for this week and next, mainly because I’m working all next week, and otherwise I need to get to where I’ve got the muscle endurance for both weights and yoga. I will be making a true effort to get to kickboxing this week, won’t be able to do it next week (work thing again). But I do have some serious overhauls to make. I’ve hit the bottom again, scraping, actually. Surprising, because usually this time brings a great amount of joy. But I’m finding, year after year, that this season brings more pain and shredded heart tissue than anything else. It’s the time of new beginnings, starting over, starting new, new goals, new projects. And I’m fucking depressed out of my mind! I spend more time trying to motivate me out of bed, then off to do the simple things, and it takes up too much time. And that’s just the crap that’s going on inside of me. I can’t even begin to hit the shit that coming at me from without.

So, tonight marks the end of my weekend as a reinstated bachelorette. What have I accomplished? Well, I managed to have more vivid dreams, yet managed to only write down a few. I have managed to spend some time with beloved friends, that I don’t get to see much. I think this is what I miss most. Being able to come home and just be by myself. I’m reconnecting with the step-terror, as his da isn’t here to pet and love him, so he has to settle with second best. I’ve enjoyed it. I haven’t had anyone putting pressure on me to get anything done, that I haven’t wanted to get done. Spent some time thinking to myself, sleeping on my own, spent time in my own room, enjoying this world on my own. I woke up this morning to a downpour. It was pleasant, and I can’t wait till my room is built in the backyard. It will be wonderful to sit in a roofed area, where I can just absorb the sounds and the scents. Oh, it will be lovely!!!! One of these days, I will take multiple weeks off to go spend time in the woods. I need to get back to that part of me. My tree self, that sits in the rain and drinks up the bounty in wonderment. I’ve been trying to re-connect with willows, but the long-distance is hard. I’m contemplating planting one in the backyard, or at my camping spot on Druid’s hill. It would be a means of marking my spot. My area, my space in time. My goal for the next couple of weeks. Little t.v. and technology, more time outside. I do need to work on limiting my writing to actual paper and not so much a computer. It doesn’t help me get to where I need to be.

Finally, my body can return to normal. I really don’t get the point of daylight savings time, anymore. In the early days of the country, I could understand it, but it completely gets my bio-clock off, so I spend all the months of savings tired, moody, and all that other jazz. I hate it. My body likes to wake up when it’s supposed to, and go to sleep when it’s supposed to. Otherwise it gets really pissy. I think I’m going to include that in my goals for the upcoming dark year, to work on. Letting my body do what it’s supposed to. I stay up later than it wants to, because the rest of my wants to spend time with others. I get up early because my job requires it. So both conflict with each other and I end up fatigued. I’m going to make an effort to succeed in not doing that anymore. I’ve got Tivo, I can tape the late shows I want to see, as well as the early shows. Time to make a more vestige schedule and stick to it. I can’t take living like this anymore.