Author: Saille

Who am I? On the surface I'm a nature-loving dirt worshipping hippy in search of a good adrenaline rush. That's all I have for now.

In watching the olympics (tivo rocks sooooooo much for this), I watch all the medal ceremonies, regardless whether I like the sport and I feel the urge to cry, occassionally shedding a tear. Why? Because these are people’s dreams coming true. At one point, it was my dream. Now, none of you guys knew me back when I was a gymnast, but I was damned good. To the point where I was getting close to hitting the national scene when shitty things happened (like encephalytis) and my mental connection decided to give out. So I cry with the person on the medal stand now. The most moving tears so far, have been Japan’s gold in gymnastics, every win that Iraq’s soccer team gains, and the foot hold that all the smaller countries have gained in the individual events for women’s gymnastics.

The irony of the situation, is that had I kept things up and ended up in one of the last 3 olympics, I would have been holding up at the swimming pool. My inner joke is to have been interviewed on supporting my fellow americans, and admitting I was there to just stare at the Aussie men’s team. Pitiful, but right up my ally on what I’d say.

Oh yeah, on another amusing note….at the store, we’ve stepped into the political ring and got some republican/bush stickers. Now, the one about flushing both johns is hilarious, as is the farenhate one. Anyway, we had our first debate on Saturday evening. Ending with the woman yelling, “I love my Bush! Vote for my Bush!” and me holding in the longest amount of laughter I possibly could. Along with the lines of, “I hope you love your Bush, because you’re damned ugly and no one else is.” Mention this to the Boss Man today, who starts laughing hysterically (this guy is a closet new waver of old, and had no clue what gaydar is). I later mention that we need some “Lesbians for Bush” stickers and his comment is, “This election could only get better if Kerry’s last name was Cox.” Only in my world does my boss say this in public, after yelling at an old lady because he wouldn’t give her her money back from a year old receipt.

This bloody rocks! I was just reading through the rosters for the olympics. The female wrestler I worked on, she made it! Fucking awesome! Definitely have to watch women’s wrestling now.

I post this only out of the sheer amusement I get out of the rhetoric, verbal and visual. The first paragraph made me ask my Scotsman when CNN became the Onion.

Otherwise, I like the silent activists. The ones who go about their life, happily, and live how they choose.

Edit: might help if I add the link….Activists protest diet industry

As I’m finally home, and the only happy part of my day is wishing djaesthetic and his lovely fiance Sarah congrats.

In other news, call the pity party so I can sit on my ass in a corner and cry for my own inability to control the things in my life.

Therapists do not work well when they are overloaded and all that happens is therapy for others gets piled on it. And the club asst. had the nerve to ask if my last session made me feel any better. Yeah, I cried through the whole thing. Made me feel a shitload better knowing that I wasn’t paying attention to my client because he wouldn’t listen to me when I said, “I can’t do any more sessions.” I was fine for the first 1.5 hours of sessions, but the next 1.5 was hell. I wonder if I can do an inservice for the assts. so they understand that an unstable therapist = not a happy hotel guest.

walkingbear, due to time constraints, I won’t be at BP on monday. My parents just informed me they were coming into town on Saturday. Priorities, unfortunately, because I really like this topic.

Scorpio for this week:

“”Disabuse yourself of the notion that greatness is somehow inextricably linked with fame, power, wealth, or social stature,” writes one of my readers, Pyrrol Red. “Some of the greatest human beings have been mostly unknown.” This is an important point to keep in mind, Scorpio, as you seek to ascend higher. The essence of your beauty may never be fully appreciated by more than a few people; the gifts you have to offer are so subtle and complex that you might find it hard to encapsulate them in simple forms that gain wide popularity. I’m not saying you’ll never be famous, powerful, wealthy, or high-status. But even if you do win those perks, it will be because of decisions you make and actions you take that are free of all lust for them.”

FreeWill Astrology

Oh yes, I’m posing this question to you odd-ones who actually read my journal…

How do you define an altered state? In general? Spiritually? How do you utilize altered states in your daily/spiritual life? What benefits do they provide for you/ for your workings?

For some reason, I was turning this stuff around in my head over dinner….

Our body is a temple. It stores our various emotions and memories, all accessible by a simple smell, familiar scene, touch, etc. Each cell is interconnected to every other cell, through various means and pathways. The things we feel, say and do affects our bodies, whether for a small space in time, or for a longer length of time till we forget. But suddenly, one day something happens, and a long lost memory is before your eyes and your re-living that point in your history.

For me, this is almost a daily occurrence. Not through myself, but a conduit for some of these reminders. In some cases, it’s joyful, in others it’s painful. In the coming weeks, I’ll be undergoing my own memories again. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s time for me to spend some time in my own temple, cleansing and preparing for the renovations.

The only thing I can hope for, is that I don’t turn into some space cadet on the spiritual ship. (yeah, yeah. mucho stereotype) But, I do need to become more spiritual, it’s a need within me to explore myself more.

Needless to say, this week has been interesting in the realm of horoscopes. The main issue that arose has been the predominant interpretation in all of them, and as a result, I’ve come up with some good personal advice to myself. It sucks that things are still up in the air, and I don’t know when/where they will land, but I’ve come to a good resolution regardless. I accept what will come, on both sides of the coin, and I am comfortable with it. One side, I would prefer to not have, but if that is what I am handed, so be it. I can only control my own actions, opinions, and beliefs, all others are under the control of those respective bodies.

So be it.