As many of you know, things in the world of freak are not going terribly well. But that’s fine, I’ll find my way through it. I did get to let some steam out today, I decided I’d be the one to put in the effort into the inventory of our air guns. There were a few things left, which are in different sections of the store (and I can’t get to them on cashier days), so I asked the floor guys for help. One of them told me this morning that he couldn’t get to it till Saturday. That’s a no-go. Come lunch, I tell whoever’s next to go, and whoever isn’t to come to the register when they get a chance. Well, MM decided to give me a lecture on “crying”, how I don’t work (which is bullshit), and how I should ask for 5 minutes to go finish this (it would take more than 5 minutes). I tell him, that today, it’s not plausable because there’s not another cashier to fill-in. He tells me to quit “crying”, I say I’m not, etc, etc. So, he ends up telling me he can’t do it, so to not ask him, I ask him if he’s on lunch, he says yes. My response? “Then I wasn’t asking you, I was asking whoever isn’t on lunch.” He tells me to quit crying, again. I tell him to get out away from me. He asks, “what? I can’t stand here?” I told him that he was on lunch and I didn’t want to look at him and to get the hell away from me because I really didn’t care to be around him and that he was pissing me off. He left. Didn’t talk to him at all the rest of the evening.

He doesn’t get it, that crap just pisses me off because he acts like he’s the only one around the store that does anything. Yeah, being cashier ain’t exactly back-breaking labour. I’m happier on the floor, but since WB is now the self-proclaimed “queen bee”, I’m stuck behind the damned counter. Hell, I could bench press that little Mexican (I called him a whiny little bitch mexican – I think that pissed him off; go me). Anyway, it’s little shit like that, which has been eating me up lately. It’s all been accumulating and building, and building and finally I decided to bulldoze it. He’s been pulling crap like that since he started working here, and I’d love to put him in my job and see how well he does.

Anyway, after that little episode, I feel much better. Not as well as I would like to feel, but I’m not staring at some black pit, wondering how long it would be till I hit the absolute bottom. Things will need to change, I’ll need to start keeping track of my mood swings better and the ups and downs, communicate them better, yadda yadda yadda.

Have I mentioned all women who love construction-type workers need to watch Tarzan???? *drool*

So, I’m feeling very odd. Talked with my Mum today, she’s going to start calling me once a week. For some reason, she’s started to be a calming influence on me and I’m glad she’s going to do this. I feel a bit alone lately, separated and searching for a connection. Tonight I’m going to my first kick-boxing class, that should get me going a bit. Must call the Marine and see if he’s up for a concert next week, then on to the Armory to meet up with alekto and friends. Tomorrow I start working on my next grove assignment, it is something I need to do and I need to get off my ass and do it.

I need to eat. Started reading Kinsella’s translation of Tain bo Culaigne. It’s an interesting format and I should finish it quickly and start on the Stonehenge book I won last Lughnasadh.

Basically, I’m finding the necessity to begin relying on myself again. Not in the manner of living, in general, emotionally. I’m at the point of constant reminder, there is no rest for self-reliance. I can rely on no one, for nothing. If I do, I find myself at the same point, needing to take over and do it myself. Can’t rely on anyone, regardless how capable they portray themselves as.

Scorpio for this week:

“Warning and congratulations! Wake-up calls are on tap. Here are examples of the kinds of benevolent shocks you may be treated to. 1. You reverently approach a cherished idol. As you bow down, you spy a dirty sock on the floor. 2. You dream of hiking through green hills in springtime. As you loop around a huge boulder, you come upon a mare giving birth to a colt. 3. You receive a Hallmark card in an envelope with no return address. The corny cartoon on the front turns you off. But when you open it up you find a slip of paper on which is handwritten a brilliant poem that fills you with catalytic emotions.”

Compliments of: freewill astrology

I am so not used to driving at a higher elevation. But I love my car!!!!! What I can’t get is how the damned dealership thought I’d give my car to them for $100.00. Hell, I know it doesn’t look like much, but even by Kelley Blue Book standards, it’s still at $1,500.00. Fuckers.

I was on TV today. Fox likes to come to work to interview us for various gov’t things. Today was in regards to the local troops that will deploy to relieve the guys who’ve been there for 1+ year. To be a girl, they would have picked the day I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. Didn’t make as much as I thought I would, but that’s thanks to sitting at the dealership for 1.5 hours. 😛 But I have my car!!!! Still haven’t gotten the loan packet that I was told I’d get today. It should get here tomorrow, then sign, then re-ship. So, at the latest, new car will be officially mine next Tuesday.

The egg has been completely carved, I’m going to experiment tomorrow and fill it with wax. It’ll give it a heavy feel, and it’ll help seal up the holes that were necessary to drain it. I’ll post a picture tomorrow when I finish.

Oh today was long. We’ve been getting our insignia shipments in, WB left them on her desk. I’m slightly pissed about it because this is stuff we’re completely out of. Flag patches for the uniforms, they were in a box that hadn’t been opened yet. Could have sold half of them over halloween. Had a Marine come in, we were his last ditch effort before heading to an officer’s gathering in getting insignia. They were in a box, unopened. (But at least one wish has come true – he was in his dress blues *prrrrrrrrrrrr*). Spent most of the day pricing and stocking the stuff. Almost done, spent yesterday doing the patches. Dipshit, the one that used to work for us, really fucked over the organization. You can’t find jack crap! So, I reorganized some of it. SL is planning on re-organizing it into branches of service, so the morons that work with me don’t confuse the Navy/Marine capt’s bars with AF/Army. MM asked me how well I knew the insignia, said I’ve answered his questions up to this point. Told him I was pretty good at it, and what I didn’t know I could pick up quick. He said, from now on, he’s asking me. Not WB. I really don’t get her. When I’m wrong, I’ll admit it. I know I don’t know everything. Because I know that, I suddenly don’t know anything and she won’t ask me any questions or even try to learn. She just pretends she knows. Then passes it off to me. I just don’t get that shit. Never have, doubt I ever will.

In other realms, I’m in the process of making a Druid’s egg for a new dedicant. I’m scrimshawing it out of an Emu egg. I’ve got all the knotwork penned on, now I just have to attack it with something sharp enough to break the shell. I’ll get a picture of it and post it, before I hand it off. I’m quite happy so far.

In other universaii…
I was supposed to go sign the buyer’s agreement for the Element, to get my loan tonight. Didn’t make it. This brainchild locked her keys in her car again, twice. Got the rear door open, and promptly closed it, after locking it. Fun. MM said he’s going to make me a spare key tomorrow to keep in my locker. The one that was there didn’t work (the key that mirrored for this one went home with a woman who promised to return it, and never did – bitch). Anyway, tomorrow I’m taking care of it during my lunch break, the loan paperwork should be here by Friday, overnight it ASAP, then have a new car on Tuesday. That means Friday and Sunday (possibly some of Tuesday) will be cleaning my current car to see how much I can get out of it. It’s about to die anyway, might as well get something for it.

Yesterday was cool. Instead of the yearly dinner, I finally managed to go see the Shaolin Warriors performance. shadaelis, you missed a good thing (knew you weren’t there because I didn’t hear the heckling of victims). Anyway, the performance was wonderful. It was very cool to watch them, and know exactly what they were doing. Before every stunt (I mean the ones that involve pain to the mundanes), they did the wheel of elements, to balance. Knowing that brought me a greater appreciation to my instructors at school. At one point, I was even walking the wheel with them, getting a poke from my Scotsman. The first half of the performance was kind of annoying. Two of the kids behind me wouldn’t shut up, almost reached back and choked one. My Scotsman thought that would be funny. Instead, during the first part of intermission, we laughed as they bemoaned the guy who was clapping a cheering at everything they did. All the while, commenting about rude people who interrupt the performance with loud noises, while looking at them. After that, I got up and walked to one of the staff and complained. We were moved closer to the stage. The second half was much more enjoyable, more polite people who paid enough for their tickets for them to shut up. Then off to a nice dinner next door. At some point, I’ll have some ruminations on the whole experience (not including the chatterboxes, who’s parents would not explain etiquette to them).

What’s up with today? Today? Work, I’ll be doing that all week, and slowly writing about it in thehodgeroom. On the way home, my temp gauge on my car bolted. Took me over an hour to get home and now I’m pissed. Oh well, at most, a week and a half more before this car goes bye bye. I’ve got a bit of paperwork to do to finalize my loan, but all is well and all is good. I will have a new car soon!