Ok, work day go to thehodgeroom, today was amusing – at least to me it was.

Now, for personal notes. Normally, I’m not one to get hung up on things *cough*, but I must say, sometimes my friends are just wonderful. This morning, the Marine showed up at work, first thing after opening, just to see me. It was great. He can be such a dick sometimes, but then he does stuff like this that makes our friendship worth it. He amused with me stories of the Sanitarium tour, which I really wish I had gone now. Apparently, Metallica realizes their new stuff sucks and only played two songs off the new album, the rest was old school (re: the good stuff), and he almost got into a fight with Fred Durst when he roamed into the crowd trying to pump them up. The Marine’s whole section was sitting down and Durst said, “Are you enjoying the concert?” (or something like that), and the Marine, in tried and true fashion promptly stuck his hand up in the air with the middle finger flying, followed by, “YOU SUCK!” in that wonderful voice that only a Marine could shout. That got Durst’s attention. Man, if only I could have been there. I could have watched Fred Durst get his ass kicked by one of America’s finest. *sigh* It was great. But hopefully he’ll be stretched out on the lawn with me at Ozzfest, we need to wreak havoc on the Manson sheep (his GF willing).

In other news, last night’s moon had me awfully down (the work day cheered me up). This morning, driving to work and listening to the Pup’s misery CD, I realized what was wrong. I’m missing him again. I thought I had all the emotions tamed and quelled with the decisions and treaties we made, but apparently I didn’t. Last night just brought them all up in their full glory. It’s not something I cry over anymore, no reason to, but still – there’s pain and I can’t get it to go away. I’m comfortable with our relationship, or lacking thereof, at the moment. However, I do feel that he’s at another point now, least, I’ve noticed when I feel this way, it’s because of some difficulty he’s going through. I hate that I can’t be there for him (yeah, I know, I’m just wastelessly expending my energy on him), but to me the aggravation is in the fact that I can’t be something stable for him, which is what I feel he needs right now. He’s my friend, and I feel like shit because I can’t be that to him – least not publically – without inflicting more damage to an already damaged situation. *sigh* I know what my calling is to my kindredfolk, and as irritating as it can be to those close to me, to see me go through the things I go through, this is the path I’ve chosen and to skew from it would be a breech of honour for me. I’m loyal to a fault, but given that this is not an abusive situation – between the two of us – I see nothing destructive in my actions or feelings. Don’t worry, I learned that lesson the hard way, and it has stuck. I love who I love, and loving those people means being there for them and worrying about them. Even the ones I don’t voice my worry over. At least, with them, I can check up on them to make sure things are good. In this case, I can’t really. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Fucking people! *grin*

Ok, work day go to thehodgeroom, today was amusing – at least to me it was.

Now, for personal notes. Normally, I’m not one to get hung up on things *cough*, but I must say, sometimes my friends are just wonderful. This morning, the Marine showed up at work, first thing after opening, just to see me. It was great. He can be such a dick sometimes, but then he does stuff like this that makes our friendship worth it. He amused with me stories of the Sanitarium tour, which I really wish I had gone now. Apparently, Metallica realizes their new stuff sucks and only played two songs off the new album, the rest was old school (re: the good stuff), and he almost got into a fight with Fred Durst when he roamed into the crowd trying to pump them up. The Marine’s whole section was sitting down and Durst said, “Are you enjoying the concert?” (or something like that), and the Marine, in tried and true fashion promptly stuck his hand up in the air with the middle finger flying, followed by, “YOU SUCK!” in that wonderful voice that only a Marine could shout. That got Durst’s attention. Man, if only I could have been there. I could have watched Fred Durst get his ass kicked by one of America’s finest. *sigh* It was great. But hopefully he’ll be stretched out on the lawn with me at Ozzfest, we need to wreak havoc on the Manson sheep (his GF willing).

In other news, last night’s moon had me awfully down (the work day cheered me up). This morning, driving to work and listening to the Pup’s misery CD, I realized what was wrong. I’m missing him again. I thought I had all the emotions tamed and quelled with the decisions and treaties we made, but apparently I didn’t. Last night just brought them all up in their full glory. It’s not something I cry over anymore, no reason to, but still – there’s pain and I can’t get it to go away. I’m comfortable with our relationship, or lacking thereof, at the moment. However, I do feel that he’s at another point now, least, I’ve noticed when I feel this way, it’s because of some difficulty he’s going through. I hate that I can’t be there for him (yeah, I know, I’m just wastelessly expending my energy on him), but to me the aggravation is in the fact that I can’t be something stable for him, which is what I feel he needs right now. He’s my friend, and I feel like shit because I can’t be that to him – least not publically – without inflicting more damage to an already damaged situation. *sigh* I know what my calling is to my kindredfolk, and as irritating as it can be to those close to me, to see me go through the things I go through, this is the path I’ve chosen and to skew from it would be a breech of honour for me. I’m loyal to a fault, but given that this is not an abusive situation – between the two of us – I see nothing destructive in my actions or feelings. Don’t worry, I learned that lesson the hard way, and it has stuck. I love who I love, and loving those people means being there for them and worrying about them. Even the ones I don’t voice my worry over. At least, with them, I can check up on them to make sure things are good. In this case, I can’t really. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Fucking people! *grin*